by Paul Fischer
| SANDRA BULLOCK AND BEN AFFLECK | |||
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Sandra Bullock and Ben Affleck sat down to promote Forces of Nature at the same time, which is kind of unusual in the world of press junkets. Most of the time, the stars come in solo, do their eighteen to twenty minutes, and head for the hills. Cranky wishes he could stream the tape recording down the line to you all, because it is hysterically funny. I can't even take credit for the interview. It was done out in LA and I got me a copy 'cuz I asked real nice. Affleck will make reference to an old radio show called The Bickersons which starred Don Ameche. Everyone who remembers Don Ameche, raise your hand. I thought not. That radio show was about a married couple who did nothing but throw snide comments and insults at each other. They loved each other, sure, but that didn't mean a good cheap shot couldn't be delivered with regularity. |
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Bullock and Affleck behave the same way, cutting each other off, finishing each other's sentences and firing the occasional cheap shot. I hope some of that translates to the written word. In that Forces of Nature is about a mismatched couple who match up on the way to his wedding (to a different lady) the LA press was interested in nothing but relationships. Two of 'em dominated the questioning and, as you'll discover as you scroll on down the page, their questioning is why I have entitled this page
Psychoanalyzing Sandy and Ben
Sandra Bullock: Ben is really excited to be here today. I'd rather be someplace else. [laughs]
Question:
So is it true that opposites attract?
Ben Affleck: Yeah. I think a lot of times it's probably true.
Sandra Bullock: I think whether they work or not is dependent on
whether you have the same moral core or structure. You can be different
people but if you don't have the same outlook on life morally, I think
it's not going to work.
Ben Affleck: I've never been a relationship for more than four
or five days so I wouldn't know [Bullock laughs] how that works.
Question:
Do people really hook up for life?
Sandra Bullock: Well, I think you can. I think we go in very disillusioned,
sometimes, in that honeymoon period and the getting married and then another
honeymoon period and then when the going gets tough; People always say
for better or for worse. No one ever thinks of the worse. You've got to
look at somebody and say "are you going to be OK for me, in the worst
situation?" when there's a lull...
Ben Affleck: When you say "I hate you and I can't stand the way
you chew your food..."
Sandra Bullock: And those really sexy women with big breasts come
up to me and thrusting them in my face. Can I say no? 'cuz there's going
to be temptation. No one talks about that. Everyone says it's happily
ever after and it's not that. [Cranky's note: it isn't clear whether or
not Bullock is putting words in Affleck's mouth, or if she's referring
to the fact that she's small breasted. Make of it what you will.]
Ben Affleck: The essential question is, as you say, "Can it work?" Can two people be together for their entire lives? The movie wants to confront the more difficult issues It's not "This is kind of the sequel to the fairy tale and how do you kind of deal with what happens when..." It doesn't set you up with an easy answer, where one character is so unpleasant that you as an audience know he's going to leave her.
Question:
So where are you on the question of Happily Ever After?
Ben Affleck: I'm actually a very firm, devout believer in Happily
Ever After. That's kind of the noblest of human endeavors. Really. It's
just the everyday challenge of trying to share your life with somebody
else and whether the whole is greater than the sum of the parts and give
each other something substantial. I think that that's what's glorified.
What's not glorified oftentimes is the kind of investment it takes. The
kind of compromise, sacrifice. I think that the real world is where you
wake up with the same person every day and feel lucky. You feel glad to
be with them.
Sandra Bullock: Isn't that the sweetest thing? I'm just sitting
here and looking at (Ben) and you're the sweetest person I've ever heard...
Ben Affleck: Ah, it's all bull...
Question: Do you believe him?
Sandra Bullock: I do believe him. Some of it is a little "Ben-isms."
Question:
Far be it from me to probe into your individual romantic lives...
Sandra Bullock: Oh, but you will!
Question:
You've both been linked with actresses...
Sandra Bullock: I have a NEVER been linked with an actress! EVER!
Question:
Doesn't that heighten the unreality of it all, trying to have a romantic
relationship with another star?
Ben Affleck: Relationships come down to who the two people are
and you've all been linked, I know, with a number of various people. Each
of you. Linked. Very closely linked.
Sandra Bullock: There we go. Let's talk about you!
Ben Affleck: Ultimately it's all about how you navigate your life
with that other person. There are always extenuating circumstances that
have to do with that person's job or lifestyle or how they were raised.
All that stuff comes much more into play than that superficial stuff you
would see on the kind of one liner descriptions.
Sandra Bullock: I have a two week rule. If you're thrown in to
a situation; if we have to create this intimacy, give it two weeks. Observe
the person. Cuz it's like clockwork. "Oh he's so sweet and so attentive
and so great..." after two weeks it's like "Oh. He's just like everybody
else."
Question:
You mean like two weeks before you date the person?
Sandra Bullock: Before you think about, like, if you go "oh I have
such a crush." Give it two weeks of just astute observing.
Question:
That's stalking.
Sandra Bullock: Not when you're with each other all the time. I'm
saying "on a set" or in a work situation.
Question:
So what turned you off after two weeks, to Ben?
Sandra Bullock: Two weeks?
Ben Affleck: It was a day and a half.
Sandra Bullock: It was like one day.
Ben Affleck: I mean I let her know right away that any backtalk...
Sandra Bullock: The thing about Ben is that we had close friends
in common. We already had that groundwork so we were able to find out
enough about each other; I mean I did. Obviously you didn't, but I knew
about Ben's background
Ben Affleck: I knew all about Sandy. I knew everyone she had slept
with. I knew everything her whole story up and down before I worked with
her. I had my people do really exhaustive research.
[He's joking, of course. She's laughing. It gets worse as it goes on . . .]
Question:
Like you did one-sheets on each other. Like John Gray's Women are from
Venus. Men are from Mars.
Sandra Bullock: That's the second time someone's brought that up
today
Ben Affleck: I happen to like John Gray. He's an interesting writer
but doesn't he strike you as kind of, um, effeminate, for a guy whose
an expert on men and women?
Question:
He's not from Mars or Venus. He's from Saturn
Sandra Bullock: But you know what's really rare? We all have these
views on actors. We have given our craft a bad name. There's sort of been
a way that people conducted themselves but I think that' changing.
Ben Affleck: But you see people's romances get reported in the
newspaper. Think about your life and if it got reported how would that
look? "Well, you had a boyfriend. And then you had another boyfriend.
And in the interim there was some..."
Sandra Bullock: Black time. We call it monkeybar-ing. I did that
all my life. You hold on and you don't let go. You think "do I want this"
and then you let go.
Question:
Then how do you feel when you see stories about yourself in the papers?
Ben Affleck: I put hexes on the writers. I curse them.
Sandra Bullock: I feel kind of bad for them. I don't pay attention
to it. I made it a point not to read. Every once in a while one would
come out and I'd see it and think "You've got to be kidding me. That person???
Do I look like I would go out with him?" But I would see it with Ben and
it made me sad. It made me a little angry 'cuz I think it cheapens who
the person was. I kind of felt cheap when it happens to me 'cuz it lowers
my integrity, something that I've worked for. But I've had my dalliances.
I've had my...
Ben Affleck: Oh, she gets around. [Bullock Laughs] I mean,
she's missed more periods than a third string goalie
Sandra Bullock: BEN!
[We pause to allow Bullock time to slap Affleck silly. The press core throws things, so I'm told. It is not a pretty scene.]
Ben Affleck:
Aw, I love you. I'm just teasing. [to press] She's virginal.
Sandra Bullock: I've never said I was virginal! I said I got into
trouble! Just don't say the "p" word. You'll feel bad about that.
Ben Affleck: No, it was funny! I'll never feel bad about
anything that's funny!
Sandra Bullock: Yeah, at my expense.
Question:
Equal time provision kicks in here folks. Sandra tell us about "Ben-time"
Sandra Bullock: Ah! "Ben-time" Ben can never show up anywhere on
time, no matter how much he tries.
Ben Affleck: You're killing me with this bit!
Sandra
Bullock: First time I met him... First, he canceled and he canceled
for a good reason -- he had his period and was bloated. The second time
I was sitting in the restaurant for half an hour by myself, waiting for
Ben. I thought "OK. He's won the Academy Award. He's the "It-boy" of the
moment. Whatever" and eventually he turned out to be great. The hard thing
with Ben is that it's not like he's a mo and you can write him off. When
he's there, in your sight, he's so present and fun and he gives you all
the attention. You feel like such a queen...
Ben Affleck: Oh?
Sandra Bullock: Not that kind. [laughs] You just feel like here's
someone who gives you his undivided attention so when he does leave and
he says "I'll call you. Let's get together for dinner" -- hypothetical
but you know where I'm going - and you don't hear from him for a month.
You think "What did I do wrong?" but what's nice is that later you find
that he does it not only to you, he does it to everybody! So you realize
that's it not a personal attack.
Question:
Why is that Ben? Don't enable him Bullock...
Sandra Bullock: I'm not. I don't call him back.
Ben Affleck: Sandy's exaggerating
Sandra Bullock: Ben. Don't start. Do you want me to start giving
examples?
Ben Affleck: No, it's private.
Sandra Bullock: Have you been drinking?
Ben Affleck: A lot.
Sandra Bullock: A lot?
Ben Affleck: Uh... You know... you... you... you... It's just like...
You know...
Sandra Bullock: You know what's great when Ben lies? You do exactly
what I do. You stutter.
Ben Affleck: [speaking clearly and distinctly] I think that it's
difficult to manage your time when you have, uh, uh, new, uh, pressures
on your time...
Sandra Bullock: Prioritize.
Ben Affleck: ...and you're figuring out how to juggle those things.
Sometimes you need a break from Sandy she's, whoa, in your ear all the
time and you need your own space.
Question:
But don't you think you could think about making Sandy a priority?
Sandra Bullock: Oh you are good!
Ben Affleck: Are you a therapist?
Sandra Bullock: You are good!
Ben Affleck: Sandy is a priority. I love Sandy. We're really good
friends.
Sandra Bullock: But two can play that game. When I stopped returning
his calls he went out of his mind. You go nuts. You will call me like
four times in one day.
Ben Affleck: It's to prove that I called you back!
Sandra Bullock: You're a little bit obsessive.
Question:
We know what Ben thinks about Happily Ever After. What about how Sandra
feels?
Sandra Bullock: I've always been petrified of marriage. Absolutely
afraid of it. I felt like once I got married someone would try to change
me and I would have no choice but to become this locked up y'know real
specimen in a box.
Ben Affleck: you worry about being tied down. You're worried about
the ball and chain.
Sandra Bullock: I'm worried about losing my freedom of expression
'cuz people who go "oh you're really fun and wild"; as soon as they get
you they go oh don't do that. And then I don't do it. And then
I become this separate person from who I was and then resent the person.
So that's my fault. So I also have surrounded myself with the right person
to be myself with. So that's fine; in the past year and a half I've had
some very great people in my life that have really taken care of me and
shown me a different way of looking at things. It's sort of given me renewed
faith in something that I never was able to look at the way. So they've
given me examples of what it's like to love somebody and be there for
somebody. It's not always pretty but it really changed my life. I got
really lucky in the past year and a half. Got some good loving.
Question:
Well. Maybe it's a cliché...
Sandra Bullock: Not from Ben.[laughs]
Ben Affleck: [fakes mopping tears from his eyes] That's a wonderful
story.
Question:
You've both got little time, with the pressures of your career. You have
to make a choice.
Sandra Bullock: I don't think yo have to make a choice
Question:
What I mean is, both of you are so hot
Sandra Bullock: Yeah! [laughs]
Question:
Big magazine covers and movies and who has time?
Ben Affleck: You do have time. Anybody has time pressures. I admit
it I don't have any more than somebody, say, who works a fifty hour week
and puts in extra time at the office. I acknowledge that I'm not very
good at managing it...
Sandra Bullock: Ben-time
Ben Affleck: Sometimes I want to have it be quiet.
Sandra Bullock: Then if you want it quiet you say I want it quiet.
You don't say I'm going to call you in twenty minutes
Ben Affleck: (pause) I never said I was going to call you in twenty
minutes [laughs]
Sandra Bullock: yes I'm exaggerating. In his defense, though, once
you realize that it's not about you...
Ben Affleck: You're a big movie star. What do you care if I call
you back or not? You've got all kinds of people calling. Doing your hair.
Makeup people coming over...
Sandra Bullock: Every day. That's how my day starts oddly enough.
Isn't it amazing?
Ben Affleck: Handlers. Supporters.
Sandra Bullock: Exactly
Ben Affleck: Fans. Admirers.
Sandra Bullock: Exactly. We just met each other beginning of last
summer.
Ben Affleck: And you're right about this. You don't tell me nothing.
I ask you questions about your life and literally its like "well, my one
male friend said this..." No one has a name. It's just these ambiguous...
Sandra Bullock: I'm very private
Ben Affleck: Who'd you go out to dinner with Sandy? 'Oh just some
friends' [Bullock laughs] Who are they? 'Oh. Just some people. You don't
know them.'
Sandra Bullock: But he's the kind of guy who would go through my
purse and read my diary 'cuz you drive me to it. Because I don't know
anything about you.
Question:
So. When are you guys getting married?
Sandra Bullock: [laughing] You know we're already at that point?
we're not like [at the] this is the great sex to go along with the honeymoon
[stage]. People go you're like an old married couple. And I think that's
so sad.
Ben Affleck: We're always bickering.
Sandra Bullock: I trust him. I trust him a lot.
Question:
You should have sex in, like, twenty five years
Sandra Bullock: I think you're right. [to Ben] so do you want to
have sex in about 25 years. Don't say no because you'll really upset me
[Ben laughs] when you don't mean it. Just say "let's talk about it later."
Ben Affleck: Sure! Let's look into it down the line.
Question:
Oh, get married. This interview's over.
Ben Affleck: Married? What, just because we bicker? I hope that's
not the idea of marriage, to turn into The Bickersons. That's the whole
thing I want to avoid is the constant bickering.
At this point Sandy starts teasing in a Jewish accent and it all sounds like something out of Seinfeld - think of George and his parents, only shouting oy! a lot
Ben Affleck: Oh I'm sure she'd make a great wife. . . for a deaf man. [everybody laughing]
Question:
Have you ever felt like you've had that trip from hell...
Sandra Bullock: Yeah, the last year with Ben. [Laughs]
Ben Affleck: It only seems like a year. It's been a two day [press]
junket.
Question:
What does this movie say about romance and relationships to someone paying
full ticket price to see the movie?
Sandra Bullock: [still laughing.] It's a bundle of laughs... y'know
it says something really profound in the sense that we always display
the glossed over sugar coated version of marriage for romantic comedies.
I think you can learn a lot from people. So many people are going to cross
your paths and bless you with either love or... the great thing is she
was great for him and he was great for her and had they not been given
the gifts of the other person, they wouldn't have become the people that
they were. Which made them better people. That happens to me all the time.
People drop off things in my life; I love what they have so much but in
the long run it's not the right thing but right at this moment it's absolutely
perfect.
Ben Affleck: So does that mean you dump a lot of guys?
Sandra Bullock: Why do you go there? Who says they didn't leave?
Ben Affleck: I don't know it sounds to me
Sandra Bullock: Well you're the one who can't take anyone for more
than four days. I had a four year relationship. Remember I'm the one Ben
goes "you stay in things far too long than you should."
Ben Affleck: It's true. Because you're always telling me...
Sandra Bullock: OK, that's where we cross the line.
Which is where this junket interview ends. Really. Well, there's one more question but it gives away vital story material from Forces of Nature, and we won't reveal it.