What Happens in Vegas is, as Ashton Kutcher put it in his teevee interviews: Two strangers in Vegas get drunk, get married and then hit a slot machine jackpot. Only after the fact do they realize that they're both greedy sots who don't particularly like each other, so they sue for the cash. A wise judge sentences the pair to live as husband and wife for six months -- it's the kind of story pitch you'd only hear in a screen writing class -- and then we're off to the races.

Well, you know what happens when you hit the jackpot in Vegas -- the wife wants her share of the loot. Which, if you've only been married for seventeen minutes and you're not even hung over yet -- has all the makings of a fine comedy and/or murder non-mystery <g> The script isn't all that well written but the overall flow works and the whole piece is light, fluffy, funny and quite enjoyable -- the comedy outweighs the romantic aspects and there is enough of that to make the ladies in our audience do that little clap hands and bounce in the seat thing that girls seem to do when they're really happy at a happy ending.

Oh, like you didn't know there'd be a happy ending. <g>

We thank Warners for not screening  Speed Racer, which is The Wachowski Brothers doing their Matrix visual thing on top of an old Japanese cartoon which we loved at age 9 . . . We watched the 'toon again 30 years on and, boy, was it god awful. Then again, we stopped getting stoned years ago so all the pretty pictures in the world mean nothing if the Bros fail to deliver on things, like, story. No one we know can, to this day, explain what The Matrix was supposed to be about. Don't bother writing. We've moved on.

More important: When a studio doesn't show their product, well, you know what that means.

We'll supply free wallpapers, though

Iron Man stars Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark, the world's only billionaire, alcoholic, man made superhero. Featuring long forgotten characters (Gwyneth Paltrow as Pepper Potts and Jeff Bridges as Obadiah Stane) from the Marvel comic book, great action and visual effects are all that holds up a so-so story about bad guys and terrorists trying to destroy both our lifestyle and Tony Stark's company. That IM was never one of our favorite Marvel comics may have something to do with our "just OK" feeling but that's what it is, just OK. Terrence Howard sets up a War Machine co-star for IM2 if this does boffo box office. (which, of course, it did. Yay for TH!) Cranky's movie review

Made of Honor is the lamb led to slaughter this week -- meaning this is where the girls with extra-ordinary power over their men (or those with no men at all) will go for their two hours of McDreamy on the big screen. I think I got that "McDreamy" thing right but heck if I know. I do know that the pitch for this film -- head over heels in love guy loses to a rival and winds up as his gal's "maid of honor" as a sort of consolation --  is the dumbest pitch I've heard in years.

Forbidden Kingdom teams Jet Li and Jackie Chan - like a Marvel comic they meet, fight and bond - in a terribly scripted, incomprehensible movie that will make every 15 year old boy happy as whatever. If you're 15 or so, don't write to tell us we're wrong. We're just old.

What passes for current romantic comedy is on full display in Forgetting Sarah Marshall. That means what isn't funny is otherwise stuffed with four letter words that get tiresome after a while.

Street Kings stars Keanu Reeves and Laurence Fishburne, the former as an undercover detective tempted to fall to the dark side of corruption and the latter as his commanding officer and mentor. Add Hugh Laurie as an Internal Affairs investigator who, of course, is an enemy to all cops on the force, good and bad, and you're set up for more plot twists than you'd expect. Of course, none of the characters is as they appear and none will make you care enough about their character arcs to really give a hoot about the overall movie. Dare we say it? More arthouse than popcorn flick but still, it fits snugly in our usual "dateflick" category ($5/$10).... not that the femme side of that equation can sit through it; it's tough enough for us guys.

Shine a Light offers close to two hours of The Rolling Stones live in concert at New York's Beacon Theater, whose 2800 seats are barely older than the Glimmer Twins and Co. combined. Martin Scorsese directs both regular and IMAX versions of the concert (opt for the  latter) and makes you feel like you're in the front row. Close to two hours of hits with exceptional surround sound worked so well that when Jagger (went) into his usual call and response routines, our audience let loose.

TRAILERS: Beverly Hills Chihuahua;  Blindness;  Brideshead Revisited;   The Dark Knight;  Wall-E;  Hancock;  Get Smart; The House Bunny;  Henry Poole is Here;  Incredible Hulk;  Indiana Jones;  Iron Man;  Lakeview Terrace;  Mongol; Superhero Movie;  The Happening;  Boarding Gate; Kung Fu Panda;  Quarantine;  Will Eisner's The Spirit;  Star Trek;  Son of Rambow;   Speed Racer;  The Wackness;  War Inc.;  What Happens in Vegas;