Never Been Kissed

Rated PG-13
Starring Drew Barrymore; David Arquette, Michael Vartan, Leelee Sobieski, Jeremy Jordan, Molly Shannon, Garry Marshall and John C. Reilly
Screenplay by Abby Kohn & Marc Silverstein
Directed by Raja Gosnell
website: www.foxmovies.com

IN SHORT: Totally Rufus.

You've got to pay attention to the action in Never Been Kissed to understand "totally rufus," one of those phrases that means nothing to anyone outside of high school. Back in Cranky's day it was "killer." Never Been Kissed goes on to show that the old adage is true, "the more things change the more they stay the same..."

Readers who saw last week's sneak preview have been e-mailing Cranky, raving about this movie. Cranky joins the acclaim. Never Been Kissed is a terrific movie, not just for old fogeys like Cranky; both retirees and kidlets alike were laughing heartily in the preview I attended. This movie is fun and funny. The main characters have depth and the necessary stereotype support characters don't steal any more scenes than they are supposed to.

When 25 year old plain jane Josie Geller (Drew Barrymore) says she's never been kissed she means "kissed in that way that things around you become hazy and you realize that that person is the only person you should kiss for the rest of your life." How big a geek was Josie in her high school days? Let's put it this way: if you thought you were geeky in your school days, and there was still one person who was geekier then you, well that person was probably Josie. Now a copy editor at the Chicago Sun-Times, with the annoying habit of correcting grammar and word usage errors in every conversation she hears, Josie yearns to be an undercover reporter. The problem is that Gus, (John C. Reilly) her boss, likes her just where she is. When the publisher (Garry Marshall) gets a bright idea, that one of his reporters should go back to high school, Josie gets the assignment. Not that she looks like she's 17, but that's the way the story goes.

Josie is still as out of her element in the high school of 1999 as she was eight years ago, when Pat Benetar was still making hits. There may be metal detectors and weapons searches in our modern day educational institutions, but the class structure from geek to incredibly good-looking, cool people is pretty much the same. Given a second chance to be successful at high school, Josie desperately tries to fit in. Flashbacks to the humiliations of her original high school days show us how incredibly wretched that life was. Cranky'll be honest here. In these flashbacks, Drew Barrymore looks like hell. Braces on the teeth and stringy unwashed hair. Yech.

Befriended by Aldys (Leelee Sobieski -- a dead ringer for a young Helen Hunt) the head of the calculus team, Josie soon finds herself attracted to English teacher Mr. Colson (Michael Vartan), and he to her. To editor Gus, whose job is riding on Josie's ability to find a hot and sexy story, this illegal mix is perfect. Josie, on the other hand, doesn't want go there. At least not in black and white for the readers of the Sun-Times or on the surveillance videotapes beamed back from a pin on her sweater to the staff at the paper.

The final player in our scenario is Josie's younger brother Rob (David Arquette), life has meant nothing since his days on the baseball team. Rob follows his sister's example and heads back to school, easily becoming the really cool guy. And thanks to his example, his sister becomes cool too. Arquette's perf proves that the line between geek and cool is a very fine one indeed.

Lest you think all the jokes are at the main characters expense, they're not. Well, the physical gags are but the script by first timers Abby Kohn & Marc Silverstein provides lots of easy to digest background and motivation and all those things critics like to write about. Director Raja Gosnell moves everything along at a brisk pace and tosses in a passel of visual gags as well. Cranky thinks no one on this crew had a better time than production designer Steven Jordan. When you see South Glen High's Senior prom, there's enough visual stimulation packed into the scene that you may want to go back to catch everything you missed on first viewing..

I haven't even touched on school hunk (Jeremy Jordan), or Josie's best pal (Molly Shannon). Or the hash brownies. You'll have to discover that for yourself. Never Been Kissed's story packs more punch than the average chop sockey flick. The jokes in the script will offer you lots of things to be nostalgic about, in a "I remember being like that or knowing people like that" kind of way.

On average, a first run movie ticket will run you Eight Bucks. Were Cranky able to set his own price to Never Been Kissed, he would have paid...

$7.00

Killer fun. Total killer date flick.

Click to buy Never Been Kissed VHS DVD

Click to buy films starring Drew Barrymore

The Cranky Critic® is a Registered Trademark of, and his website is Copyright © 1995-2008 by, Chuck Schwartz. Articles by Paul Fischer Copyright © 1999 - 2006 Paul Fischer. All images, unless otherwise noted, are property of,©, ®, T their respective studios and are used by permission. All Rights Reserved. Not to be used or copied for any commercial purpose. Academy AwardT(s) and Oscar®(s) are registered trademarks and service marks of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences.

Amazon Honor System

Your Donations feed us

Buy Cranky stuff

Buy movie posters!

BUY THE LATEST DVDs
Star Wars Trilogy (Widescreen) DVD (Full Screen)	Lord of the Rings Trilogy DVD
Marx Bros collection	Alfred Hitchcock Collection
Looney Toons Volume 1 Volume 2 Volume 3 Rocky & Bullwinkle Season 1 Season 2 Season 3 Star Trek TOS Star Trek TNG Star Trek Films Criterion Collections

TV/Movie Collectibles

online movie critics

We're Kidlet Safe

Search engine
by FreeFind

click to search site

Now in Release:

The Band's Visit
Definitely Maybe
Hottie and the Nottie
In Bruges
Iron Man
Be Kind Rewind
Rambo
Cloverfield
Mad Money
U2 3D

28 Weeks Later
Black Book
Bourne Ultimatum
Brooklyn Rules
Death at a Funeral
Evening
The Ex
Fido
Georgia Rule
Grindhouse
Hairspray
Harry Potter - Phoenix
The Hoax
Hot Rod
I Know Who Killed Me
La Vie en Rose
License to Wed
Live Free or Die Hard
Mr. Brooks
Next
No Reservatons
Ocean's Thirteen
Perfect Stranger
Pirates of Caribbean
Ratatouille
Rescue Dawn
Rush Hour 3
Severance
Sicko
Simpsons Movie
Slow Burn
Snow Cake
Spider-Man 3
Stardust

DVDs on Sale:
300
Alice in Wonderland
Batman Begins
Bambi
Beauty and the Beast
Blade Runner
Bridge to Terabithia
Charlie + Chocolate Factory
Cinderella
E.T.
Fantastic Four
Forrest Gump
Gone With the Wind
Harry Potter yrs 1-3 set
Harry Potter Azkaban
The Incredibles
Indiana Jones trilogy
The Lion King
Lord of Rings 12 discs
Mary Poppins 40th LE
Ultimate Matrix set
Miss Potter
Monty Python - Grail
Napoleon Dynamite
Pirates of the Caribbean
Pirates of the Caribbean 2
Shrek
Shrek 2
Sin City
Sleeping Beauty
South Park Movie
Spider-Man
Spider-Man 2
Star Wars Ep. 1
Star Wars Ep. 2
Star Wars 3 Full Screen
Star Wars 3 l'box
Star Wars Trilogy (4-6)
The Island
War of the Worlds
X-Men
X-Men 2

The Cranky Critic® is a Registered Trademark of, and his website is Copyright © 1995 - 2010 by, Chuck Schwartz. Articles by Paul Fischer Copyright © 1999 - 2006 Paul Fischer. All images, unless otherwise noted, are property of,©, ®, ™ their respective studios and are used by permission. All Rights Reserved. Not to be used or copied for any commercial purpose. Academy Award™(s) and Oscar®(s) are registered trademarks and service marks of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences.