cranky home
Reviews since 1993:   A-E     F-N      O-Z    Posters       Who We Are and Why We Do What We Do         Search the Site

Your Donations support the Site

Top Selling DVD     Books

50 Shades of Grey
Exodus Gods and Kings
Grand Budapest Hotel
Imitation Game, The
Into the Woods

Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit
Theory of Everything
Ride Along
We're the Millers
The Great Gatsby
The Avengers
Amazing Spider-Man
Girl w/ Dragon Tattoo
Dark Knight Trilogy
World War Z
Happy Feet 2
Iton Man 3 combo
Batman Begins
Dark Knight
Fifth Element
The Hangover
Hunger Games
James Bond 11 disc coll.
Lord of the Rings trilogy
Mission Impossible GP
Sherlock Holmes AGOS
Singing in the Rain
Snow White Huntsman
Star Trek Into Darkness combo
Star Wars Saga
21 Jump Street
Ultimate Matrix coll
X-Men First Class
X-Men Trilogy
X-Men Wolverine

 BLU-Ray for Family DVDs 
Alice in Wonderland (2010)
A Bug's Life
Chronicles of Narnia set
Harry Potter 1-8 collection
Iron Man 2 combo
Kung Fu Panda
Lord of the Rings Trilogy Pinocchio
Pirates of Caribbean trilogy
Pixar short films
Shrek the Whole Story
Sleeping Beauty
The Smurfs
Snow White & 7 Dwarfs
Star Trek motion pictures set
Star Trek TNG Season One
Star Wars Saga (1-6)
Toy Story combo
Toy Story 2 combo
Toy Story 3 combo
Wall-E SE


Search engine by FreeFind
Click to add search to YOUR web site!
click to search site

Alice in Wonderland
Beauty and the Beast
Kung Fu Panda
The Lion King
Mary Poppins 45th LE
Princess Mononoke
Shrek the Whole Story
Simpsons Movie
Spider-Man Trilogy
Spirited Away
Star Trek movies set
Star Trek TOS (TV)
ST:TNG complete tv set
Star Wars Trilogy (1-3)
Star Wars Trilogy (4-6)
Toy Story DVD combo
Toy Story 2 DVD combo
Toy Story 3 DVD combo
Wallace and Gromit
Wall-E SE

Buy Movie collectibles
TV/Movie Collectibles

movie review query engine

NY film critics online

Privacy Policy

CrankyCritic® movie reviews:

Click for full sized poster

Frogs for Snakes

Starring Barbara Hershey; Robbie Coltrane, John Leguizamo, Debbie Mazar, Clarence Williams III, Harry Hamlin
Written and Directed by Amos Poe

IN SHORT: Great Premise. Awful execution. [Rated [R]]

Aiming for some kind of downtown New York Underground style, Frogs For Snakes delivers a top name indie cast who are mired in a story that is so difficult to comprehend you'll be more distracted by the totally retro 1960s era road cruisers all the main characters drive. Of course, if you're into gratuitous violence, there's more than enough to go around.

Here's the premise: Frogs for Snakes features actors who will literally kill for a good role, in this flick a production of David Mamet's American Buffalo. Most of 'em also work for, in one way or another, a loanshark named Al Santana (Robbie Coltrane). These include Al's ex-wife Eva (Barbara Hershey), his current flame Simone (Debi Mazar) and numerous supporting characters, all of whom are fairly anonymous despite memorable nicknames -- Klench, U.B., Crunch, Flav, Huck. When Al decides to do Buffalo, one of his stooges says "I would kill to play Teach!" Still partially enamored of his ex, Al joking says, "OK, kill Zip (John Leguizamo)" who is Eva's current fling. Two gunshots later, it's a done deal.

Everyone's an actor. Killing or maiming, whatever, is just the day job. The in joke is that, with the exception of Eva, none of these "actors" can act. That point is driven home as all of 'em do their monologs for each other (meaning you) and all of 'em suck. If you have no exposure to the actor wannabe ethic, the monologs will feel totally out of place to you.

Add to this some subplot about Al's kids, two out of town enforcers (including the original Mod Squad Linc, Clarence Williams III) and $600,000 of stolen money. Cranky suspects that a long, complicated screenplay is what attracted these actors. Cranky reports that the 90 or so minutes which made the final cut suggest that the editing process murdered what was attractive.

Other names in the cast that will attract, more to the fact sucker in, ticket paying audiences are Harry Hamlin, dressed 70s style with a mop of hair you won't believe; and Ron Perlman as a low level messenger for Al, whose language demonstrates a particular fondness for the "f" word. John Leguizamo has little to do, other than to get naked or killed. His name is the biggest draw. His part is the least of the lot.

On average, a first run movie ticket will run you Eight Bucks. Were Cranky able to set his own price to Frogs for Snakes, he would have paid...



The Cranky Critic website is Copyright © 1995  -  2016   by Chuck Schwartz. Articles by Paul Fischer are Copyright © 1999 - 2006 Paul Fischer. All images, unless otherwise noted, are property of,©, ®, their respective studios and are used by permission. All Rights Reserved. Not to be used or copied for any commercial purpose. Academy Award(s) and Oscar®(s) are registered trademarks and service marks of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences.