Entrapment

Rated [PG-13]
Starring Sean Connery and Catherine Zeta -Jones
Screenplay by Ron Bass and William Broyles
Story by Ron Bass and Michael Hertzberg
Directed by Jon Amiel
website: www.foxmovies.com

IN SHORT: A dud.

As Cranky was walking in to the second sneak of Jon Amiel's Entrapment, a local television critic friend was walking out of the first show, shaking his head. "How bad could it be?" I asked. "You get Catherine Zeta-Jones in a catsuit!" My friend groaned and continued out the door. As far as yours truly was concerned, the thought of Sean Connery (sexy guy) and Zeta-Jones (major thumpa-thumpa) pairing off should have been enough to make sparks fly onscreen. They don't. To be honest, there was more chemistry between Fred Astaire and Robert Wagner as father and son cat burglars on teevee's It Takes A Thief.

It isn't that Entrapment doesn't do it's best to please. The movie starts with a bang. A masked figure engineers a high tech heist of a famous Rembrandt painting from a heavily secured New York building, using gadgets and gizmos reminiscent of Mission Impossible. The responsible party, according to Waverly Insurance investigator Virginia Baker (Zeta-Jones) is a renowned, but never caught, thief named Robert "Mac" MacDougal (Connery). "Gin" convinces boss Hector Cruz (Will Patton) to let her go after the guy, even though Cruz thinks Mac is too old to have pulled off the job ("He's 60 years old. He ain't Spider-Man!")

Cruz is right, but I'll leave that alone. Gin's plan is to lure Mac, using her wits and great looks, into taking her on as a partner in a job that will make them both billionaires. Which is as good a place as any to introduce the third player in the game, Mac's "silent" partner, Thibadeaux (Ving Rhames), who brings the only spark of life and personality to this otherwise plebeian flick. Two high tech heists later, by the time all is said and done, each player will have betrayed the others, more than once. Shot on location in New York, London, Scotland and Malaysia, Entrapment must have looked great on paper.

The problem is what was on the paper. The script, by Ron Bass and William Broyles from a story by Bass and Michael Hertzberg is terrible. Our top-liners try so hard to mouth words in the classic Hepburn-Tracy style that their own skills and personalities don't shine through. Some of the writing is so cliched that, when the pregnant pause comes in the middle of a sentence like "I'm always on time. If I'm not there..." the guy next to me muttered underneath his breath "It's because I'm dead." Which was, of course, the rest of the sentence. The initial meeting and tete a tete between Connery and Zeta-Jones opens up too many questions, all answered by the end of the flick, that at least one of the involved parties should have been suspicious of the other.

By the time it ends, in Malaysia on New Year's Eve of the new Millennium, Gin will have been reduced to spontaneous tears on more than one occasion, and Mac will demonstrate his superhuman ability to walk through tear gas unhindered. When you get to the final scene, where all is explained, you'll be moaning and groaning just like my friend the teevee critic. God knows Cranky was.

Taken out of context, though, each heist was truly reminiscent of the IMF. Problem is, this flick doesn't offer the tension and suspense that Mission Impossible did. Don't bother to remind me that I didn't like MI either. That was for entirely different reasons.

On average, a first run movie ticket will run you Eight Bucks. Were Cranky able to set his own price to Entrapment, he would have paid...

$1.00

Sorry, folks. Pass it by. (and Zeta-Jones doesn't wear a catsuit, but the rest of her wardrobe is pretty damned fine...)

starring Sean Connery:

Hunt for Red October vhs lbx dvd

The Rock vhs lbx dvd

The Anderson Tapes vhs lbx dvd

The Avengers vhs lbx dvd

Dragonheart vhs lbx dvd

First Knight vhs lbx dvd

Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade vhs lbx dvd

Time Bandits vhs lbx dvd

The Untouchables vhs lbx dvd

You Only Live Twice vhs lbx dvd

Diamonds are Forever vhs lbx dvd

Dr. No vhs lbx dvd

From Russia With Love vhs lbx dvd

starring Catherine Zeta-Jones

The Mask of Zorro vhs lbx dvd

The Cranky Critic® is a Registered Trademark of, and his website is Copyright © 1995-2008 by, Chuck Schwartz. Articles by Paul Fischer Copyright © 1999 - 2006 Paul Fischer. All images, unless otherwise noted, are property of,©, ®, T their respective studios and are used by permission. All Rights Reserved. Not to be used or copied for any commercial purpose. Academy AwardT(s) and Oscar®(s) are registered trademarks and service marks of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences.

Amazon Honor System

Your Donations feed us

Buy Cranky stuff

Buy movie posters!

BUY THE LATEST DVDs
Star Wars Trilogy (Widescreen) DVD (Full Screen)	Lord of the Rings Trilogy DVD
Marx Bros collection	Alfred Hitchcock Collection
Looney Toons Volume 1 Volume 2 Volume 3 Rocky & Bullwinkle Season 1 Season 2 Season 3 Star Trek TOS Star Trek TNG Star Trek Films Criterion Collections

TV/Movie Collectibles

online movie critics

We're Kidlet Safe

Search engine
by FreeFind

click to search site

Now in Release:

The Band's Visit
Definitely Maybe
Hottie and the Nottie
In Bruges
Iron Man
Be Kind Rewind
Rambo
Cloverfield
Mad Money
U2 3D

28 Weeks Later
Black Book
Bourne Ultimatum
Brooklyn Rules
Death at a Funeral
Evening
The Ex
Fido
Georgia Rule
Grindhouse
Hairspray
Harry Potter - Phoenix
The Hoax
Hot Rod
I Know Who Killed Me
La Vie en Rose
License to Wed
Live Free or Die Hard
Mr. Brooks
Next
No Reservatons
Ocean's Thirteen
Perfect Stranger
Pirates of Caribbean
Ratatouille
Rescue Dawn
Rush Hour 3
Severance
Sicko
Simpsons Movie
Slow Burn
Snow Cake
Spider-Man 3
Stardust

DVDs on Sale:
300
Alice in Wonderland
Batman Begins
Bambi
Beauty and the Beast
Blade Runner
Bridge to Terabithia
Charlie + Chocolate Factory
Cinderella
E.T.
Fantastic Four
Forrest Gump
Gone With the Wind
Harry Potter yrs 1-3 set
Harry Potter Azkaban
The Incredibles
Indiana Jones trilogy
The Lion King
Lord of Rings 12 discs
Mary Poppins 40th LE
Ultimate Matrix set
Miss Potter
Monty Python - Grail
Napoleon Dynamite
Pirates of the Caribbean
Pirates of the Caribbean 2
Shrek
Shrek 2
Sin City
Sleeping Beauty
South Park Movie
Spider-Man
Spider-Man 2
Star Wars Ep. 1
Star Wars Ep. 2
Star Wars 3 Full Screen
Star Wars 3 l'box
Star Wars Trilogy (4-6)
The Island
War of the Worlds
X-Men
X-Men 2

The Cranky Critic® is a Registered Trademark of, and his website is Copyright © 1995 - 2010 by, Chuck Schwartz. Articles by Paul Fischer Copyright © 1999 - 2006 Paul Fischer. All images, unless otherwise noted, are property of,©, ®, ™ their respective studios and are used by permission. All Rights Reserved. Not to be used or copied for any commercial purpose. Academy Award™(s) and Oscar®(s) are registered trademarks and service marks of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences.