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Alice in Wonderland (2010)
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      Now in Release:
Adventures of Tintin
Albert Nobbs
Anonymous
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Change-Up, the
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Cook County
Crazy Stupid Love
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Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close
50/50
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Killing Bono
Kill the Irishman
Machine Gun Preacher
Melancholia
Mission Impossible GP
The Muppets
Passion Play
Puncture
Rampart
Sherlock Holmes
The Son of No One
Super
That's What I Am
Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy
Trust
Tucker and Dale vs Evil
What's Your Number
Winnie the Pooh
Young Adult

IN SHORT: Great Gobs of Gory, Gruesome fun

It goes something like this: Deep in the south China Sea, there are canyons and ridges so deep you could fit the Himalayas into them. Who knows what nefarious sea creature could live down there, the resting place of oodles of mysteriously disappeared ships?

Once you get past the title sequence of Deep Rising, showing all those mysteriously disappeared ships, and looking like it was shot on the bottom of the aquarium Cranky had as a kid, you move into a tale of a fairly high tech PT boat for hire, pirates on the high seas and a luxury liner filled with the richest of the rich, partying their brains out. Of course Finnegan (Treat Williams), the guy running the PT boat is really a good guy; Trillian (Famke Janssen), the best looking woman on the luxury liner is neither guy nor good and it's all irrelevant pending the arrival of the real showpiece, the nasty serpent from the deep.

I'm not even going to try to explain anymore than that, as it would take all the fun and shocks out of Deep Rising. Let's just put it this way. You went to see Anaconda last year because there was one huge mother of a snake chomping on a small boatload of people. This year's version is a titanic monster chomping on a couple of thousand. It's that much more fun, too.

The woman next to Cranky kept burying her head in her boyfriend's shoulders. The other eDrivers at the sneak, all aficionados of the genre were cackling with glee and even Cranky had a damn good time. Deep Rising is a great B-Picture, if you want to get historical about it.

This Cranky is short, 'cuz I'm on vacation. Go. See. Enjoy. 'Nuff said.

On average, a first run movie ticket will run you Eight Bucks. Were Cranky able to set his own price for Deep Rising, he would have paid . . .

$6.00

Buy a big bag o' popcorn 'cuz half of it will end up on the floor.