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IN SHORT: Feh. [Rated R. 114 minutes]
When he was young, Jimmy Conlon (Liam Neeson) was called the Gravedigger. He killed people for a living. He was so good at it, a police Detective called Harding (Vincent D'Onofrio) has made it his goal in life to get "the list" of Conlon's victims. Harding will put Conlon into a jail cell, if he has to, though he wouldn't mind burying the gravedigger's corpse. Jimmy's son Mike (Joel Kinnaman) is so ashamed of his father's occupation that he wants nothing to do with the man. Mike's contempt extends to his wife and children, who have never met the patriarch.
When he was young,, Jimmy Conlon's best buddy on the hard streets of Queens was called Shawn Maguire (Ed Harris). Shawn put millions away as lord of a cocaine smuggling ring. while Jimmy put bullets into the brains of Shawn's competition, as his Enforcer. Now, aging and rich and ready to retire with respect of his peers. Shawn's thirtyish son Danny (Boyd Holbrook) has come to his father to help broker a deal with with Albanian drug dealers. They want access to Shawn's "pipeline" to move heroin. Shawn doesn't want to move heroin. Shawn, we guess, isn't even in the drug business anymore, and so the deal goes down the crapper.
Here's the problem: the Albanians have fronted Danny a large amount of cash to facilitate the deal. With no deal, they want their cash back. Danny doesn't have the cash and . . . Push comes to Shove, Danny is dead at Jimmy's hands. [No we are not going to explain the surprise. Someone out there is going to see this film and we're not going to ruin the point.] Shawn, of course, swears to kill Mike in retaliation. And all of Mike's family . . . heck, anyone bearing the Conlon name, or even knowing anyone bearing the Conlon name is to be killed.
That means that Jimmy has to save everyone while a paid killer (Common) hunts them down.
Or something . . .
We had to piece the above together from the website and the IMDB and other sources because, aside from screenwriter Brad Ingelsby remembering that his characters need to take the time to re-load their weapons, the film is an out of control car running on two wheels
We suspect the pitch meeting was a raging fire of ideas that knocked the socks off of every studio exec in the room. We don't know because we weren't there. Run All Night is a mess that stoned teenagers will probably love. We stopped loving teenagers a couple of decades ago (which is a subtle hint at the true age of yours Cranky and not anything perverse) and, maybe, this film tested off the charts for that younger demographic.
We prefer a story which we can figure out from what is actually on the big screen, and not something that needs a push from the fine folks at the IMDB.
On average, a first run movie ticket will run you Ten Bucks. Were Cranky able to set his own price to Run All Night, he would have paid . . .
Maybe we're just having a bad week. We used to be a bit more clever with our disdain for terrible flicks (though the sentence about reloading weaponry was a real compliment. The point is that the rest of the script is so bad that we noticed the one thing that we shouldn't have.)
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