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IN SHORT: As review proof as a movie can get. [Rated PG-13 (for intense sequences of science-fiction violence and peril). minutes]
I'm writing for the parents first and foremost . . . if your little kidlets (ages 4 or 5 or so) do not understand that what they see on a movie screen is not real, do not bring them to this film. If they haven't seen enough, say, Chuck Jones cartoons to understand that onscreen violence is only for the screen -- that is it is not to be brought home if you have boys that want to play Monster-Rex Eats Human MacPeoples! -- again, wait a bit. Cranky worries about little kids. Sue me.
As for Jurassic World, the heart stomping, head chomping, blood spilling, majestic dinos bathing with humans . . . it would be the ultimate Universal Theme Park if it could fit into Orlando <g> . . . What am I supposed to say when the Raptors are the good guys?
Well, if at first you don't succeed . . . make yourself a whole new brand of dinosaur! Which is apparently the plan of the corporation behind the relaunch of the renamed "Juraswsic World" theme park, situated on all the rest of Isla Nublar not tainted by John Hammond's genetics laboratory and what spewed therefrom 22 years ago. A tough, corporate hairpiece in high heels -- and that hair is lovely -- Claire Dearing (Bryce Dallas Howard) oversees the operations of the park and head of security Vic Hoskins (Vincent D'Onofrio) keeps everybody safe, especially the new billionaire owner, the man who fulfilled John Hammond's dream, Simon Masrani (Irrfan Khan).
Both Masrani and Dearing know that to keep the park spectacular and successful, there must be "something new" introduced every five years or so. One innovation involves an ex-military animal expert Owen (Chris Pratt), isolated from the park proper, training four raptors to "work as a team." Blue, Delta, Echo and Charlie all respond to Owen's commands -- Owen is the Alpha, as you know from the commercials -- so this, Rajah and his Raptors will become important as things play out. That Owen and Claire have this "I Hate You but I'm Really Attacted to You" back and forth is something for us adults and sets up something that is really funny, buried in a story I won't write about.
The other new innovation returns geneticist Dr. Henry Wu (BD Wong) to the new Jurassic universe (which means films 2 and 3 are *pfft*). Wu's contribution is a Brand New Dinosaur -- Indominus Rex -- a combination monster whose DNA Wu will not reveal. Raised in isolation -- the thing ate its sister -- this new dinosaur exhibits something even scarier than teeth the size of an adult's forearm. It displays intelligence.
Simply put: Claire and Owen want a successful park. Wu and Hoskins, and perhaps Masrani want to develop dinosaurs are replacements for army infantry (you know -- people) so that the next war shouldn't kill so many, you know, people. Owen's place in that mix is kind of grey, but we're saying too much
What we haven't said is that Claire's two nephews, Zach, 16 (Nick Robinson), and Gray, 11 (Ty Simpkins) are spending a long weekend under her supervision while mom Karen (Judy Greer) tries to patch up her marriage. Claire dumps the boys on an assistant -- "We'll have a full day together, tomorrow" and off we go. Two boys in a park full of dinosaurs. What could possibly go wrong.
What could possibly go wrong.
Adults with kids know darn well what could go wrong <vbg>.
Jurassic World is packed to the gills with story and action and monsters and heroes and villains. It is bloody enough -- yeah, trained raptors. Hah! -- to make the boys and girls big and small, happy.
Let's wrap this up.
On average, a first run movie ticket will run you Ten Bucks. Were Cranky able to set his own price to Jurassic World, he would have paid . . .
As far as every reader forking over the big bucks for the 3D glasses and reserved seats in the new version of movie palace, Jurassic World will rock yours.
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