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CRANKY SEZ: . . .As best as we can figure, this week marks twenty years writing as Cranky. Just saying . . .

Grown-ups in our readership (those who have already seen Hope Springs) should search out this week's newbie called Robot and Frank. Along with the aforementioned Hope Springs, that makes two intelligent movies for adult viewers in less than a month. The apocalypse must be near. Then again, it is August. A time when films not good enough or strong enough to battle through summer (or aren't Oscar worthy enough to be held until that race starts next month.

[LAST] WEEKEND TOP TEN:  Put enough old-line action stars in a movie and you get a relatively tepid opening for The Expendables 2 ($29 millions). The Bourne Legacy ($17 millions/$70 millions) follows with kid friendly ParaNorman ($14 millions), last week's hit The Campaign ($13.4 millions/$52 millions), and Whitney Houston's farewell Sparkle ($12 millions) rounding out the Top Five.  THE REST OF THE BEST:   The Dark Knight Rises ($11 millions/$410 millions), The Odd Life of Timothy Green ($11 millions/$15.2 millions), Hope Springs ($9.1 millions/$35.0 millions), Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days ($3.9 millions/$38.8 millions), Total Recall ($3.5 millions/$51.7 millions)

Acknowledging our comics book fanboy status: actor Christopher Eccleston has been signed as the villain Malekith the Accursed in Thor: The Dark World; the X-Men First Class sequel will be called X-Men: Days of Future Past (which is a very super major good thing if you know comics); Joss Whedon has agreed to write and direct The Avengers 2. There's a brand new trailer for Skyfall, the next James Bond 007 film. click here . . . and as we move back to normal business, those fanboys who have planted for multiple views of  The Dark Knight Rises have posted at least 15 Things That Bothered (Them) -- meaning spoilers and plot problems galore. Read if you dare! Or wait until September and buy the first part (DVD or Blu-Ray) of the animated version of Frank Miller's classic The Dark Knight Returns. Or don't wait and buy the whole book (all purchases support the site and we need the money!!!)

Hit & Run

As long as you don't mind bad language and some very old, very naked, people, or off road good guys chasing off road bad guys while a cop chasing thems uses a gay hookup app called POUNCER (which is too much explanation) -- and bad boy bank robbers shooting everywhere Hit & Run is Best Movie of the Year (so far). See it. Have Fun, Cranky's Movie Review

Robot and Frank

Robot and Frank stars Frank Langella, James Marsden, Liv Tyler and Susan Sarandon. Yeah, an old man and his robot. One terrific picture. Grown-ups go here. Cranky's movie review

Premium Rush

Premium Rush stars Joseph Gordon Levitt and, given that it focusses on one of the few New York professions that us natives really despise, bike messengers, was remarkably entertaining. Cranky's movie review

The Appariton

The Appariton was not screened for us grunts in the press. You know what that means.

General Education

General Education, on the other hand, did have the guts to screen for us. The film opens this week in limited markets, which is where it will close. For any reader who thinks that reviewing is an easy job, we urge you to seek out this film. It is beyond a terrible sit.

Odd Life of TImothy Green

The Odd Life of Timothy Green is family fare. Remember telling the kids that they were found out in the cabbage patch? Well, here you go . . . Your alternative is to the right-->

 

Paranorman

For those with kidlets is Paranorman. Tiny studio. Didn't screen it for us grunt reviewers.

Expendables 2

The Expendables 2 features aging action stars shooting and blowing things up and crashing planes and wreaking havoc. Lionsgate did screen it. But not for us.

Sparkle

Also not screened, Whitney Houston's final screen appearance in Sparkle.

The Bourne Legacy

The Bourne Legacy adds Jeremy Renner to the mess abandoned by Matt Damon . . . yeah, we know. We hated the trilogy. Fanboys who loved Damon are blogging nothing but hate for the new guy. But you know the studio will want to pair up both down the line... Cranky's movie review

The Campaign

The Campaign stars Will Ferrell and Zach Galifinakias. . A comedy about a political campaign with all jokes set around the ten years old "doodie-head-level. Except that the language is 'R' rated. Cranky's movie review

Hope Springs

Hope Springs stars Meryl Streep, Tommy Lee Jones and Steve Carell. Cranky states, flat out that those under 30 haven't had enough relationship/ commitment experience to fully understand just how incredibly funny and touching and terrific this film is. It is the first real, top of the line dateflick for grown up types. Cranky's movie review

red hook summerm

Red Hook Summer (ltd) is director Spike Lee's 's return to the big screen. "Red Hook" is a neighborhood in NYC's Brooklyn. In this film, a kid from suburban Atlanta discovers that things are a wee bit different in an urban universe. Cranky's movie review

 

Amazing Spider-Man

Gwen Stacey now becomes the One True Love of Peter Parker's life in The Amazing Spider-Man. Emma Stone and Andrew Garfield take those roles with Denis Leary as police Captain Stavey and Martin Sheen and Sally Field now Uncle Ben and Aunt May. We thought there was no way to destroy a franchise, but the hunk a junk script that is the first hour of this film should merit a more accurate adjective of "Unbearable". By the time the FX rock the second half, our audience was walking out. Papers here.    Posters here.      Cranky's movie review here

Nitro Circus

Nitro Circus the Movies 3D will blow your socks off. Stunt men get paid to meticulously plan and execute amazing things. The guys in the Nitro Circus let their imaginations go wild and just do the stupidest things (they) can possibly imagine. If you haven't seen either season on MTV2 and you don't mind an audience full of stoners, we can promise your jaws will drop. Cranky's movie review

Goats

First time writer/directors should study Goats with some reg'lar folk viewers. It's a fine example of why something has to happen in the first 30 minutes of a film. Those who just want to see David Duchovny naked -- he plays a "fake Mexican: grounds keeper slash marijuana farmer -- should rent. Co-star Vera Farmiga plays the kind of loopy hippie new agist that is beyond description. There is a tiny story here but we didn't like it. Avoid.

total recall

We gave you the bikini poster to look at 'cuz Total Recall is a flat out stinker. Cranky's movie review

REVIEW - dark knight rises

The Dark Knight Rises would have been better titled The Dark Knight Part 2.. Endings of all kinds are made and yeah, we know what we think doesn't matter. We've got to do it anyway.

Dark Knight Rises wallpapers

Dark Knight Rises posters

Cranky's movie review

ted\

Ted comes your way from Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane. A story of a man and his sentient teddy bear is the funniest movie we've seen in a very, very long time. Cranky's movie review

To Rome With Love

To Rome With Love is the funniest film to come from the pen of multi-talented Woody Allen in years. Same old shtick, a bunch of a Americans look for life and love in the greatest city in Italy, while an innocent nobody of an Everyman (Roberto Begnini) is set upon by paparazzi, Not only is the film funny and touching, it is more than worth any "work" on your part to read the subtitles. Cranky's movie review

Ruby Sparks

Ruby Sparks (ltd) is a terrific movie in which a dweeb writer (Paul Dano) uses his own imagination and an old typewriter to write about the girl of his dreams -- who somehow becomes real (Zoe Kazan). The first 90% is a terrific dateflick, then the film gets serious and it's still a terrific dateflick. From the team that did Little Miss Sunshine, if my endorsement isn't enough. Cranky's movie review

MORE NEWS: Barry Sonnenfeld has been announced as the writer/producer of Metal Men, adapting the DC superheroes team . . . Marvel announces the next Wolverine solo guardians of the galaxymovie (due July 2013) will let writer Christopher McQuarrie (The Usual Suspects) adapt the Chris Claremont/ Frank Miller comic that established Logan's samurai background. If you don't know, just be surprised (or buy the book and support this site). Will Yun Lee (Total Recall) plays the " bad" guy, the Silver Samurai. James Mangold will direct. . . . A Guardians of the Galaxy film was announced as well (with 1280px and 1024px monitor sized and 1366px laptop wallpapers for you) . . . The new team of Todd Robbins and Teller opens the Toronto Film Festival with Play Dead. Robbins is not the new Penn. Penn is just fine. Shade Rupe directs this film. . .

LINCOLN BY SPIELBERG:

Here is your first look at Daniel Day-Lewis as our sixteenth president.

It is available in three sizes. . .
the first two for monitors and 1366px for widescreen lap tops

LINCOLN BY SPIELBERG     LINCOLN BY SPIELBERG     LINCOLN BY SPIELBERG

lincoln by spielberg
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