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fast furious 5
Click for full sized poster

Fast Five

Starring Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Jordana Brewster, Tyrese Gibson, Chris "Ludacris" Bridges, Matt Schulze, Sung Kang, Gal Gadot, Tego Calderon, Don Omar, Elsa Pataky, Joaquim de Almeida and Dwayne Johnson
Based on Characters Created by Gary Scott Thompson
Written and Directed by Justin Lin

IN SHORT: Finally, a story! [Rated PG-13. 130 minutes]

If you sit through enough movies you may find yourself feeling a sense of deja vu as you sit thruogh the first ten or so minutes of the fifth installment of the Fast & Furious franchise aka Fast Five. You should. It's been done almost exactly the same in another move whose name we can't recall as we write -- a master of Trivial Pursuit yours Cranky is not -- but aside from that, FF5 delivers something we haven't seen in earlier editions. A lot of story. We've been writing for fifteen years that you shouldn't have to know the continuity to "get" the story.Justin Lin's screenplay does such a terrific job of filling in all the old continuity that you don't need intimate knowledge of any of the preceding movies. His direction delivers a veritabled cacophony of car crashes and enough vroom vroom to keep any drooling male happy.

Cranky stopped drooling over cars when he discovered girls. There are enough of 'em bandied about as background eye candy -- the setting is Brazil, whose national passion is for bikini clad vixens -- to keep any male happy. Females in the audience get their choice of any of the lead males, Vin Diesel or Paul Walker or Duane Johnson (formerly The Rock of the WWE)

For those that zoned out in the first four installments, what little running story there is to this series is recapped in the dialog. For those that are reading first: Since ex-cop Brian O'Conner (Paul Walker) and Mia Toretto (Jordana Brewster) broke ex-con Dom Toretto (Vin Diesel) out of custody, they've blown across many borders to elude authorities. Now backed into a corner in Rio de Janeiro, they must pull off one last job in order to gain their freedom. As they assemble their elite team of top racers, the unlikely allies know their only shot of getting out for good means confronting the corrupt businessman who wants them dead. But he's not the only one on their tail.

On their tail is the toughest federal agent to wear a badge: Luke Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson) who never fails to make a capture. Hobbs and a custom strike team [Tyrese Gibson, Chris "Ludacris" Bridges, Matt Schulze, Sung Kang, Gal Gadot, Tego Calderon and Don Omar] launch an all-out assault to capture our "heroes". Once in Brazil, though, Hobbs learns he can't separate the good guys from the bad. Now, he must rely on his instincts to corner his prey . . . before someone else runs them down first. for this ultimate high-stakes race.

On average, a first run movie ticket will run you Ten Bucks. Were Cranky able to set his own price to Fast Five, he would have paid . . .


Fast cars. Fast women. And a Fast movie that, for once, has enough story packed in that you're not going to be able to sneak out of your seats for that popcorn refill without missing something important.

amazon com link Click to buy films by Justin Lin
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The Cranky Critic website is Copyright © 1995  -  2017  by Chuck Schwartz. Articles by Paul Fischer are Copyright © 1999 - 2006 Paul Fischer. All images, unless otherwise noted, are property of,©, ®, their respective studios and are used by permission. All Rights Reserved. Not to be used or copied for any commercial purpose. Academy Award(s) and Oscar®(s) are registered trademarks and service marks of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences.