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Get Low Starring Robet Duvall, Sissy Spacek, Bill Cobbs, Gerald McRaney and Bill Murray Screenplay by Chris Provenzano and C. Gaby Mitchell Story by Chris Provenzano and Scotte Seeke Directed by Aaron Schneider website: http://www.sonyclassics.com/getlow/

IN SHORT: What a waste of talent. [Rated PG-13 for some thematic material and brief violent content. 100 minutes]

]Once upon a time -- that'd be forty years before the film's start, Felix "Bush" Breazeale (Robert Duvall) packed up and moved out of town to a shack in the mountains. A carpenter by trade, for the most part, the presence of "Bush" has become a legend in the Tennesse town nearest the mountain shack in which he lives. When a close friend dies, Bush begins to wonder about how the town is going to talk about him after he meets his Maker. So Bush goes looking for someone to help him "get low," -- the slang term meaning to get buried. Just so's you know -- to throw a "funeral party" and let the townsfolk spout.

First he goes to the most local religious type Reverend Gus Horton (Gerald McRaney) to do the honors. Said reverend is baffled by the request to do a funeral service for a man who is still alive. Overhearing the request is Buddy (Lucas Black), a salesman for the Quinn funeral home. Said Mr. Frank Quinn (Bill Murray) consents to do the honors, once his newest salesman -- again, Buddy -- makes the deal with the reknowned hermit.

Frank will eventually track down the Reverand Charlie Jackson (Bill Hobbs), whose church the carpenter Bush built. Charlie doesn't want the honors either, but his story adds more to the background of the hermit at the center of this tale.

When push comes to shove, though, what the townfolk want to spout about is why the guy moved into the mountains forty years earlier. So, for a ticket price of Five Dollars US, they'll get that chance. They'll also get a chance at winning Bush's 300 acres of virgin forest -- a raffle prize worth thousands of Depression era dollars. [And, probably, a good reason to make up a story about the guy.]

We couldn't make this up, folks. It's another based on a true story film. With a cast like those noted above, we felt sure that we were in for a good time. Boy were we wrong.

Before you get near the promised stories, there is the return of one Mattie Darrow (Sissy Spacek) to the town. Ms. Darrow is linked to the hermit somehow -- there is a picture of a young woman he keeps in his cabin that Ms. Darrow reacts to. Whether it is a picture of said Ms. Darrow, now emotionally pained by something that never was, or something else, is a revelation kept for the very end of the film. That means we can't spill it. We'll just say that the rest of Get Low fiddles about so much before (we) get an answer to what that picture really means, that we didn't care a whit when the story was revealed.

On average, a first run movie ticket will run you Ten Bucks. Were Cranky able to set his own price to Get Low, he would have paid . . .

$2.00

First time feature director Aaron Schneider used to be a cinematographer. As far as the newbie director's skills go, he's a great cinematographer. He's got an A+ level skilled cast and he doesn't get 'em working? The film is a total coast by its acting staff, pretty much across the board. The net result is a very dull movie. That's way nastier than we usually get. We're just totally ticced at the waste of talent in this film.

	Click to buy films by Aaron Schneider
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