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adventureland

Adventureland is as much fun to watch as it is easy to forget. This is a great example of what happens when publicists don't bring press notes for us to make our own notes on (and we didn't bring anything, either) and critics like us don't right up reviews immediately after screening. As much another tale of a teenboys quest to lose his virginity as it is about real relationships, Adventureland is a very sweet and very funny film.

Away We Go

Medical junk interfered with our ability to write a complete, positive review for , Away We Go starring John Krasinsky and Maya Rudolph, a good film and great rental for the adult audience. She's newly pregnant. His parents, the only soon to be pair of grandparents (aka babysitters) drop the bomb that they are leaving the country, What's left for our  heroes is a road trip in search of a new place to live and, perhaps, a new job for the male (She illustrates biology textbooks). Plus reunions with old friends and loved ones, all of whom are nuttier than the proverbial fruitcakes, in their own way. Grownups shall have a wonderful time! Find it and see it! ($7)

baader meinhof komplex

Baader Meinhof Complex in German, recreates the formation and destruction of the terrorist band that bombed the stuffing out of modern Germany to make their political statements. We wish we could say you'd learn something of the terrorist mind set, but the film is terribly directed. Characters credited for acts committed after they die. The historical continuity is just plain messy. ($2)

Bart Got A Room

Bart Got A Room is teen-friendly film, focusing on Senior prom and all that assumedly comes afterwards. It's not about Bart. It's about a fellow shlub called Danny who makes all preparations for the big night except for one -- the date. Sure, he assumes a lifelong BFF will wait until asked but no nice Jewish boy like Danny can resist a gorgeous shiksa that has become friendly. And on it goes.

bob funk

Bob Funk is an alcoholic sex hound who wouldn't have a job if his mom wasn't running the company. We endured this film by director Craig Carlisle which stars Rachael Lee Cooke, Amy Ryan, Grace Zabriskie, Stephen Root and Eddie Jemison in the title role so you don't have to. It is a terrible, incredibly boring film. Avoid it.

bright star

Bright Star stars Abbie Cornish and Ben Whishaw. It's all about the love life and early death of the poet John Keats and the girl next door, Fanny Brawne. Far beyond a chick flick -- though there is nothing seen onscreen to generate the tears, even with an unhappy ending. Gents, sit and suffer quietly and know how the ladies feel when you inflict some mindless action or slice 'n' dice junk on them.

cirque de freak - the vampire's assistant

Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant stars teenboys Darren (Chris Massoglia) and Steve (Josh Hutcherson) who hook up with a forbidden Freak Show. Steve seeks to become a half-vampire assistant to Philip Seymour Hoffman. Darren falls under the spells of a fat guy called Mr. Tiny (Michael Cerveris) who, we think, wants to rule the world. Salma Hayek and Orlando Jones are the easiest adults to recognize but if you haven't read the books the film is based on -- there are a dozen of 'em from which scenes seem to be pulled out and stitched together -- the film is a terminal sit.

dance flick

Dance Flick puts just about all of the Wayans family to work. This film shreds hip hop music and dance flicks like Singing in the Rain, Fame and Flashdance. There were enough jokes to keep yours Cranky awake but, honestly, we are way out of the demographic for this film. That being said, it's sloppily written, acted and directed and will be dead in a week.

and so it was.

did you hear about the morgans?

Did You Hear About the Morgans? stars Hugh Grant and Sarah Jessica Parker, with Sam Elliot and Mary Steenburgen. Squabbling New Yorkers in witness protection in Wyoming. So boring it was painful to sit through and pointless to write about. So...

Having enough jokes to power a 30 second television spot is not enough to justify paying for a theater ticket. Pass it by.

Duplicity

Duplicity stars Julia Roberts and Clive Owen in a thoroughly incomprehensible mess of a movie about two cons seeking to rip off $40 millions from someone. At least the TV commercial was clear on that last point. The film is a wreck. Normally our role is to explain what it all means, in addition to the usual endorsement or diss. We couldn't possibly begin to explain this thing.

new moon

Then there is The Blind Side, a very dull flick about a rich white woman and a poor, seemingly mentally challenged poor, black young 'un who becomes a football star thanks to a rich white family helmed by Sandra Bullock.

Yech.

Then again, we didn't recognize this thing for the uber-major chick flick that it turned out to be..

brothers

Brothers stars Tobey Maguire,Jake Gyllenhaal and Natalie Portman.  One is a four term military man, believed killed in action. His brother is not as much of a man but, after a long time passes, an emotional connection builds with the widow left behind. Then guess who comes back? A really fine movie until something at the very end turned us off.

easy virtue

Easy Virtue stars Jessica Biehl in an adaptation of one of Noel Coward's few melodramas. Coward was one of Britain's greatest modern writers but this story is about as dull as you can get. Biehl stars as a "wild and crazy" American who marries into a staid Brit post-Victorian family. One scene featuring Biehl dancing the Tango will melt any breeder male in his seat. Wait to rent for that bit

edge of love

Edge of Love is a film that is strictly for art house snobs. Based on the life and loves of poet Dylan Thomas (Matthew Rhys), with wife Caitlin (Sienna Miller) and first love Vera Phillips (played by Kiera Knightly, Phillips was a Brit singer once referenced in a Pink Floyd song). It is a dull, far too serious movie.

Education of Charlie Banks

The Education of Charlie Banks is the first time big screen offering from music video director (and Limp Bizkit front man) Fred Durst. In which an eight year old lives in terror of the neighborhood bully, grows into a teen at an Ivy League college and... guess what? His roommate invites said bully ( a terrific Jason Ritter) to crash in their dorm room. Not sure if said bully finished high school. Not sure what exactly Charlie Banks  (Jesse Eisenberg) supposedly learns throughout the course of this very dull flick.

everybody's fine

Everybody's Fine stars Robert De Niro, Drew Barrymore, Kate Beckinsale and Sam Rockwell. A widowed dad travels around the country to surprise his kids at holiday time. Surprise! Kids don't want dad around. De Niro wipes the floor by not doing the usual angry De Niro thing. Wait to rent.

Fantastic Mr. Fox

We missed two early press screenings of  Fantastic Mr. Fox because of back problems. Finally caught up to  it in a theater and... We should have listened hard to our back because this is a terrible film -- unless you're stoned to the gills. Not funny. Not family friendly.Not much of anything unless you drop the normal critical guards by tokin' up a good doobie. We're long past those years so, despite the voices of  Meryl Streep and George Clooney we turn the thumbs down on this one.

fourth kind

The Fourth Kind stars Milla Jovovich as a psychologist who documents, and may have been victim of physical close encounters with extra-terrestrials in Nome, Alaska a couple of decades back.As the film says at its beginning and end, either you believe there was contact with alien beings, as hinted at in the bits of story revealed here, or you don't. What that really means is that you won't remember a darn thing about this movie by the time you leave the theater. Save your money.

funny people

Funny People stars Adam Sandler as a dying comedian who needs cheering up. Consistent chuckles but no belly laughs to be found here.

Haunting in Connecticut

The Haunting in Connecticut with no stars is a very tepid old-fashioned scare flick -- please note that means no slice 'n' dice, (our preference anyway; there are occasionally unpleasant visuals now and again. Strangely enough the same people who walked out of our packed to the walls screening saying that The Haunting in Connecticut was a great movie were the same people who wouldn't shut their yaps all throughout the film. They were also the same people who kept yelling "scare me!" "scare me!" at the screen when they weren't busy texting their friends.

how to seduce difficult women

How To Seduce Difficult Women "adapts" the best selling imaginary book by author Philippe Saint-Pierre (Louis-Do de Lencquesaing) who chooses ten shlubs and guides them along the road to true romantic happiness. Starring nobody, the film is a great example of a good grad student made film (sic) that will find life on DVDs rented by properly enhanced frat boys and other college aged party- goers. We don't take the time (or  have the need) to enhance our viewing experience anymore. There are enough chuckles here and one subtle gross out that the enhanced crowd will appreciate some of the film but we can't see paying the twelve bucks for a theater show. Wait for the DVD

The Hurt Locker

The Hurt Locker, a story of an elite US Army squad of bomb defusers in Iraq is an edge of your seat thriller for the first hour or so, mainly because one wrong move and everything goes boom (unless Iraqui snipers decide to take a shot at you). Our problem? The film isn't strong enough to build characters separate from the usual stereotypes. If you lose interest in whether or not any of this band of brothers lives or dies, the film fails.

i love you beth cooper

I Love You Beth Cooper from director Chris Columbus tries hard to recreate the perfect for dating teens films he (and John Hughes for example) made years ago. In it a geeky valedictorian (Paul Rust) blurts out his love for Ms. Cooper (Hayden Panetierre) and from there on out it's a really dull ride. Half a second of Ms. Panetierre naked may be more than enough to make teenboys happy. The film is terrible.

Inglourious Basterds

Inglorious Basterds, Quentin Tarantino's WWII epic is his first that doesn't stuff enough story or trivial details into its rather compact 2.5 hours. Brad Pitt stars but has little to do for much of the film. He leads a band of Jewish-Americans determined to kill Nazis. Period. Meanwhile a woman who escaped the Nazi extermination of her family plots to kill Nazis. We we just OK about the film when it was released. The thing has grown on us.

in the loop

In the Loop stars James Gandolfini; The film, in which an inadvertent comment sets off a war is our second "we don't remember a thing" film of the week. It was god awful and wouldn't be mentioned save the glut of advertising from film student thinking reviewers who love being  bored silly. Avoid.

Invictus

Invictus stars Morgan Freeman and Matt Damon in a Clint Eastwood film about how the game of rugby unified South Africa in the year after apartheid racial laws fell. Eastwood's film is not about an underdog athletic club pitting in-bred racism against superior opponents (though that is true). It's about nation-building. But if you know nothing about Rugby or its World Cup, and can't get through the South African accents (we plead guilty on both counts) Invictus is a lost cause.

Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus

The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus comes via the genius mind of Terry Gilliam. Like most Gilliam originals, you'll need at least two views to begin to get all the stuff packed into the script or production design. Parnassus (Christopher Plummer) is 1000 years old and has promised his daughter (Lily Cole) to the devil (Tom Waits) on her 16th birthday. Enter Heath Ledger (as Johnny Depp, Jude Law and Colin Farrell) and alongside Verne Troyer, hang on for the ride.

it's complicated

It's Complicated stars Meryl Streep and Alec Baldwin. Femme skewed date flick for those of parental age or older. Streep is 10 years divorced from Baldwin, who wants a second chance since the new wife and kid are wearing him out. Turns into  her first affair, ever, and we haven't even gotten to Steve Martin.

A good sit

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