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Lymelife Starring Alec Baldwin, Kieran Culkin, Rory Culkin, Jill Hennessy, Timothy Hutton, Cynthia Nixon, Emma Roberts Screenplay by Dereck Martini & Steve Martini Directed by Dereck Martini website: http://www.screenmediafilms.net/lymelife/

IN SHORT: For the arthouse. In this case, though, that's a good thing. [Rated R for language, some sexual content, violence and drug use. 95 minutes]

Scott Bartlett (Rory Culkin) is fifteen. Still small enough that the bullies in his junior high school -- that's what it was called in 1979 -- beat him up regularly. His dad, Mickey (Alec Baldwin) is a real estate developer, which means he's rarely around. Mother Brenda (Jill Hennessy), on the other hand, is overprotective leaning towards smothering. Their community of Syosset, on New York's Long Island, has been stricken with a whole rash of Lyme's disease infections and mom's new best friend is a role of duct tape.

An older brother Jimmy (Kieran Culkin) has left the nest. But he comes back for a visit before shipping off to do battle in the Falkland Islands (which was a British War that, as I recall, no American fought in. Well, whatever). Jimmy beats the crap out of the bullies that are messing with Scott -- it's the older brother's right to beat up the younger. Not some student punk. This is was. Thus it should ever be <vbg>.

It's also just the right age for Scott to be thinking about the girl next door, the lovely Adrianna Bragg (Emma Roberts). Adrianna's mother Melissa (Cynthia Nixon) works her tail off in service to the elder Bartlett's real estate ambitions, the development of a whole new piece of suburbia called Bartletown. Adrianna's father (Timothy Hutton), despite appearing to leave for job hunting in the city every day, hides in the basement and tokes his brains out. Daddy, you see, has been bitten by a deer tic. He has Lyme's disease -- if you have no idea what that  means, trust us. It is a nasty, painful and debilitating disease.

Those old enough to remember the 1970s firsthand may also remember that that decade marked the second generation of the sexual revolution. In simpler terms, mom Melissa is servicing more than boss Mickey's real estate ambitions.

OK, young 'uns, that means they're doing it.

Mickey's wife Brenda (Jill Hennessy) is blissfully unaware of the affair, even as she knows that all the love has drained out of her once happy union. And so it goes, as intelligently as it began. Lymelife is one of those fine serious indieflicks that we slather with the same usual derision that we save for films that are full of themselves. Just sit back and let the actors do their jobs. Lymelife is for the more appreciative grownup audience.

On average, a first run movie ticket will run you Ten Bucks. Were Cranky able to set his own price to Lymelife, he would have paid . . .

$6.50

Some folks will do whatever is necessary to avoid the local cineplex. This is for them. T'ain't a bad flick -- the creators should've done a wee bit of historical research, though.

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