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i hope they serve beer in hell
Click for full sized poster

I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell

Starring Matt Czuchry, Jesse Bradford, Geoff Stults, Keri Lynn Pratt, Marika Dominczyk and Traci Lords
Screenplay by Tucker Max and Nils Parker
Based on the book by Tucker Max
Directed by Bob Gosse
website: http://www.ihopetheyservebeerinhell.com/

Of course they do. But it's warm and stale.

IN SHORT: Absolutely chock full of despicable fratboy-like road trip anxieties. Also absolutely funny as hell.  [Rated R by the MPAA for nudity, strong sexual content including graphic dialogue throughout, language and some crude material. 105 minutes]

At least  half a dozen times a year yours Cranky suffers through movies that try their hardest to do what movies like I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell achieve. That is to say they try to be funny in the crudest possible way. Time and time (and time and time and time and time) again they fail. That being said -- and fully in duck and cover mode for what we're about to write -- Y'know how alcoholics at parties are funny funny funny until they're not? I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell is the kind of almost offensively crude comedy that we of 50 years of age laughed at enough to know darn well that we would have called it, had we not been lugging those extra 30 years around,a 'piss yer pants funny' comedy masterpiece. Of course, you'd have to be very very very drunk to attain that last "achievement" but that's what college is for. [Yours Cranky went to college in a "dry" town, which meant we spent weekends over a bong watching teevee to Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon. You probably know that drill. If you don't, stop reading now 'cuz you're either too young or far too old for an 'R' rated film. <vbg>

I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell is based on the autobiography of one Tucker Max, a self-proclaimed a'hole who lives for sexual conquest and beer. He takes action without any thought of consequence. Talks back at will, Lives a completely un-PC life and will say anything to ingratiate himself into the sexual life of his prey. He, and his friends burn through cash as if it were paper as seem to have deep pockets somehow. We don't compare to Source Material but we did take a quick look through the book. The behavior seen on screen doesn't come close to the crap the real Tucker Max pulls in real life. So join us as we now enter the world of I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell. Let us begin at beginning . . .

After a grueling day of work at law school, work meaning "talking back to the professor," Tucker Max (Matt Czuchry) meets up with his best buds: the-about-to-be-married, Dan (Geoff Stults), and their sullen, just dumped and therefore misanthropic (woman hating) Drew (Jesse Bradford). Over pitchers of beer all three come to the inevitable conclusion that the result of the aforementioned matrimony will be the shredding of the unbreakable ties of their friendship. They know "for certain" that marriage is like a deadly disease to the whoever the groom is. It means no more staying out until dawn; no more road trips; no more drunken beer blasts; no participation in the age old ritual of hunting the opposite sex in any singles bar that hasn't banned their presence. Worse, it means no more making love to whichever beer soaked babe leaves her head in their lap.

So, being Dan's last night of freedom, give or take, Tucker gets Dan to lie to his fiancee and duck out of their plans for the evening. The unholy trinity of pals hits the road in search of a legendary strip club many miles away in a town called Salem. Tucker has it on good authority that the girls who lap dance will also let the paying customer fondle said stripper's wares. It will be just the first step on the road to getting falling down drunk girls and chatting  up the strippers. Fondling, whatever, is just a bonus. They will continue to drink as long as the strip club allows and then hit the road in search of any liquor dispensing authority that can keep the good times rolling. Needless to say, Tucker is already hypothesizing as to how beyond usual the sex act he expects will be. Entering the club, Tucker declares his preference. He wants to hook up with a midget stripper and  . . . . yep, one midget stripper is working the stage.

This is a family oriented site, readers. Describing specific details would get us in too much trouble. Suffice it to say, all yadda yadda about sex aside, the film is packed to the gills with gags involving bodily functions of all kinds and many, many f-bombs. Given that Tucker is the only avowed and available and willing member of the trio, he calls up his best opening lines and heads for the bar.

While Tucker hunts, the morose Drew plants near a bank of video games to play Halo. There, he get his butt whipped by a single mom, also a stripper but not a whore. A perfect woman for a man who, at least temporarily, wants nothing to do with them. As for Dan, accidentally knocking out a stripper about to give  him a "special dance,"gets him and his pals thrown out of the strip club. They get separated. Dan will later be arrested for relieving himself in public and, calling from the jail phone, fail to reach either Tucker or Drew (both are "busy" if you know what I mean).

Why aren't we going into specific details? Would you like every joke explained so that this page might ruin the experience for everyone else? Not going to happen. I Hope They Serve Beer in  Hell is beyond crude and raunchy but it's well written and very, very funny.

While Tucker will get a sort of comeuppance towards the end of the film, there's nothing in the film that truly redeems his character at all. If you're expecting some sort of smug satisfaction at seeing the ass on screen get wiped ... uh ... taken down, you're not going to get it.

What you are going to get is a hurt in the pit of your stomach. Either you will find I Hope They Serve Beer in  Hell to be the raunchiest, funniest movie of all time, or you are going to be outraged at its crude, sexist and eventually repulsive story plot points.

We side with the former.

On average, a first run movie ticket will run you Ten Bucks. Were Cranky able to set his own price to I Hope They Serve Beer in  Hell, he would have paid . . .

$7.00

Oh... we just can't go higher (because like it or not we'll get our ass handed to us in irate email from readers who have ignored every single warning and or reference to crude stuff etc etc etc) .  Sure it's their fault for not reading but do they ever learn? Nope. Never.

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