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Severance Starring Danny Dyer, Laura Harris, Tim McInnerny, Tony Stephens, Claudie Blakley, Andy Nyman, Babou Ceesay, David Gilliam Screenplay by James Moran and Christopher Smith Based on a story by James Moran Directed by Christopher Smith website: www.severancefilm.com

IN SHORT: Feh. [Rated R for strong bloody violence, language, drug content and some sexuality/nudity. minutes]

Seven employees of weapons builder Palisade Defense -- Steve (Danny Dyer) blonde Maggie (Laura Harris) Richard (Tim McInnerny) Harris (Tony Stephens) Jill (Claudie Blakley) Gordon (Andy Nyman) and Billy (Babou Ceesay)-- are being trucked into the mountains outside of Budapest for a weekend team-building exercise of some sort. When the weekend is finished they will be treated to a luxury party thrown by their company President George Cinders (David Gilliam), who has already started partying with some hired help of the high priced prostitute kind. That's neither here nor there.

Finding the rural road they are travelling on blocked by some fallen trees, rather than rolling up sleeves and utilizing the available man muscle to move 'em, these wimps take their bags, get off the bus and follow the leader -- the corporate manager figures "it's only an inch to go on the map. What is that, like a mile?"

So goes the history of the new corporate world, right down into the deep dark forest, where some nasty man with machetes and machine guns and sharp pointy things await, desiring to kill and kill and kill some more. We have not the slightest idea what his reasoning is, and neither does this utterly story and plot free waste of time called Severance.

On average, a first run movie ticket will run you Ten Bucks. Were Cranky able to set his own price to Severance, he would have paid . . .

$0.00

not even worth the tme it took to write the three paragraphs we did.

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