cranky home
Reviews since 1993:   A-E     F-N      O-Z    Posters       Who We Are and Why We Do What We Do         Search the Site

Your Donations support the Site

Top Selling DVD     Books

50 Shades of Grey
Exodus Gods and Kings
Grand Budapest Hotel
Imitation Game, The
Into the Woods

Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit
Theory of Everything
Ride Along
We're the Millers
The Great Gatsby
The Avengers
Amazing Spider-Man
Girl w/ Dragon Tattoo
Dark Knight Trilogy
World War Z
Happy Feet 2
Iton Man 3 combo
Batman Begins
Dark Knight
Fifth Element
The Hangover
Hunger Games
James Bond 11 disc coll.
Lord of the Rings trilogy
Mission Impossible GP
Sherlock Holmes AGOS
Singing in the Rain
Snow White Huntsman
Star Trek Into Darkness combo
Star Wars Saga
21 Jump Street
Ultimate Matrix coll
X-Men First Class
X-Men Trilogy
X-Men Wolverine

 BLU-Ray for Family DVDs 
Alice in Wonderland (2010)
A Bug's Life
Chronicles of Narnia set
Harry Potter 1-8 collection
Iron Man 2 combo
Kung Fu Panda
Lord of the Rings Trilogy Pinocchio
Pirates of Caribbean trilogy
Pixar short films
Shrek the Whole Story
Sleeping Beauty
The Smurfs
Snow White & 7 Dwarfs
Star Trek motion pictures set
Star Trek TNG Season One
Star Wars Saga (1-6)
Toy Story combo
Toy Story 2 combo
Toy Story 3 combo
Wall-E SE


Search engine by FreeFind
Click to add search to YOUR web site!
click to search site

Alice in Wonderland
Beauty and the Beast
Kung Fu Panda
The Lion King
Mary Poppins 45th LE
Princess Mononoke
Shrek the Whole Story
Simpsons Movie
Spider-Man Trilogy
Spirited Away
Star Trek movies set
Star Trek TOS (TV)
ST:TNG complete tv set
Star Wars Trilogy (1-3)
Star Wars Trilogy (4-6)
Toy Story DVD combo
Toy Story 2 DVD combo
Toy Story 3 DVD combo
Wallace and Gromit
Wall-E SE

Buy Movie collectibles
TV/Movie Collectibles

movie review query engine

NY film critics online

Privacy Policy

Click for full sized poster

Buy the Poster


Screenplay by
Based on[] by
Directed by Mel Gibson

IN SHORT: heck if we know what's going on . [Rated . minutes]

Religions rise -- originally because God says so and later at the point of a stick. Religions fall -- usually at the point of a stick, the old "do as I say or you don't get to do anything at all, anytime anyplace forever." That's usually called proselytizing. Unless, of course, you're being threatened. Cranky's personal opinion, of course, is that no one knows nothing about anything until (you're) dead. As the holiday season approaches, we hope that final deadline is many many many very health filled and prosperous years off.

Now let's have a look at how Spanish Catholics destroyed the Mayan civilization, with relish. Or let's not and say we did . . . for Mel Gibson's Apocalypto has nothing to do with the Spaniards destruction of Mayan culture and everything to do with, well, we're not exactly sure. With eyeballs glued to non-stop subtitles, it is far too easy to completely miss the beautiful cinematography work and other directorial touches in this otherwise tepid film.

We're not sharp enough to do both. Other than a man has to avoid human sacrifice to save his wife and child, heck if we know what's going on. Actually that's a pretty good summary of what goes on in Mel Gibson's Apocalypto. If I wanted to read in the dark, I'd do so.

For those willing to bet the farm that Apocalypto is all about the coming of the Spanish and the destruction of indigenous Mexican (Mayan) culture, you've just lost the farm. For those who refuse to sit through subtitled movies, well, Gibson has now done it twice in a row. Of course, you have to look real hard to find the Jews on which to blame the destruction of the Mayan empire, but they're probably there somewhere.

On average, a first run movie ticket will run you Ten Bucks. Were Cranky able to set his own price to Apocalypto, he would have paid . . .


Rent it. We were very tempted to go with the lowest rental ratings number ($2 equating to a mid week grab) but are being generous because of the pretty pictures and stunning production design

amazon com link Click to buy films by Mel Gibson
Click Here!

The Cranky Critic website is Copyright © 1995  -  2017  by Chuck Schwartz. Articles by Paul Fischer are Copyright © 1999 - 2006 Paul Fischer. All images, unless otherwise noted, are property of,©, ®, their respective studios and are used by permission. All Rights Reserved. Not to be used or copied for any commercial purpose. Academy Award(s) and Oscar®(s) are registered trademarks and service marks of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences.