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Eurotrip

Starring Scott Mechlowicz, Jacob Pitts, Kristin Kreuk, Nial Iskhakov, Michelle Trachtenberg, Travis Wester and Matt Damon
Written by Alec Berg & David Mandel & Jeff Schaffer
Directed by Jeff Schaffer
website: www.eurotrip-themovie.com

IN SHORT: "So that's what an uncircumcised penis looks like!" [Rated R for sexuality, nudity, language and drug/alcohol content. ]

Gee, aren't you glad you live in a medically enlightened hemisphere where male baby chop chop is more a matter of course than a minority religous ritual?

From the same writing team that was totally clueless about The Cat in the Hat sets the bar way lower with a movie that is 90% more jokes about sex and sex aiming dead on at the 17-30 demographic. We know it's dead on because even the 30somethings at our screening were muttering "I'm out of the demographic." We, on the near side of decrepit by comparison, planted and tried to invoke our inner teenager.

And there were the occasional giggles as high school Scott Thomas (Scott Mechlowicz) and his best bud Cooper Harris (Jacob Pitts) head for Europe on cheap courier fares, leaving summer jobs behind without notice (thus placing them in Running-Joke-in-the-Script Land. The driving motivation behind the trip is that Scott has been carrying on an internet friendship with some German named Mike. Scott rightfully blows off the dude when he makes a written pass at our hero. Scott, you see, was warned about middle aged male sex perverts on the 'net by Cooper . . .

He also payed no attention in German language class where he would have learned that "Mieke" is a girl's name. Had he known that, the picture she sent him would already be well worn from night after night of activity that would condemn him to Hell, if he were Catholic. Yes, Mieke (Jessica Boehrs) is a royal babe. Scott must get to Berlin to find her and get down on his knees and beg for forgiveness and as much sex as he can possibly convince her to put out because if he didn't, we wouldn't have a movie to watch.

Cooper has his own agenda. Having paid close attention in American History class, this dude knows that all the Founding Fathers of this great nation were prudes that left decadent Europe behind. That means, logically, that all the descendants of those left behind have had a couple of centuries to refine their techniques for hot european sex. And away we go.

As with any Road Trip movie (same producers in this case) Scott and Cooper get incredibly drunk (etc.) whenever possible. They also go from point A (London) to point B (Berlin) via points X.Y, and Z -- Paris, Amsterdam and one which will go unnamed because it's one of the better jokes in the movie. Along the way they hook up with Hudson High grads Jenny (Michelle Trachtenberg) and Jamie (Travis Wester), twins who weren't cool way back when but in Europe, hey, any port in a storm. Given the fact that no character in any of this form of movie needs more than a single sentence of background; Jamie is a proto-geek, in love with his Leica M-7 top of the line digital camera. Jamie is the girl who all the guys still see her as one of the boys. You don't have to do mucy thinking to figure out what their subplots are going to hinge on. Then again, you shouldn't be thinking much at films like Eurotrip, right?

Of course not. You just want tons of dumb jokes about sex and drugs and rock and roll! Well, forget about the latter. You do get Lucy Lawless done up in dominatrix gear and the always entertaining Vinnie Jones -- still at the proto-star stage where you'll recognize the face if not the name -- as the Manchester United Football uber-fan who, with the help of his beer sodden mates, gets our hero's cross continent trek in motion.

If the description makes Eurotrip sound all dull and same old same old, to a great extent, it is. There are enough consistent giggles, beginning with bit parts by Scott's ex Fiona (Kristin Kreuk) and the skinhead singer she dumps our hero for -- played by an A-list Oscar winner whose appearance is three-quarters of the gag -- who has already turned that dumping into his new hit song.

Ah, sex and drugs and humiliation . . . and we haven't even gotten to the Vatican yet. But when we did, our armor cracked and Eurotrip became an authentic laugh out loud comedy. It helps that we don't worship the Pope as a god on earth, we've got Catholic friends who would freak over the sequence, but it is hysterically disrespectful. If you lose yourself in Eurotrip earlier in the film, you lucky demographic target you, it's a much higher rating for you. Our best laughs didn't come until close to the end but they were substantial and so...

On average, a first run movie ticket will run you Ten Bucks. Were Cranky able to set his own price to Eurotrip, he would have paid . . .

$6.00

Prior to the sequence in the Vatican, Eurotrip would have been dismissed as a rental for all but the target demo. Those that can remember those days may plant just to get to the papal sequence, it's that funny. Only at the end is iteave you in a puddle funny.

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