Chasing Papi

Starring Roselyn Sanchez, Sofia Vergara, Jaci Velasquez and Eduardo Verastegui
Screenplay by Laura Angélica Simon & Steven Antin and Alison Balian & Elizabeth Sarnoff from a story by Laura Angélica Simon & Steven Antin
Directed by Linda Mendoza
website: www.chasingpapi.com

IN SHORT: Overkill. [Rated PG for mild sexuality and language.]

Frenetic and fast paced, Chasing Papi is, if nothing else, a wonderful piece of eye candy for all of us guys. For the ladies, it's a buddy movie in which three young lovelies discover that they have all fallen for Tomas Fuentes (Eduardo Verastegui), a studly hunk of a perfume marketing executive lovingly nicknamed "Papi Chulo." Papi, it is important to note, is not a "player." He knows his situation is trouble just as he knows he is in love with all the ladies.

How does he do it? Each live in a different city, that's how. Patricia (Jaci Velasquez) is a toy terrier toting, New York socialite. She's snobby and spoiled rotten. She and her pet, "Fifi" are about to be cut off from her mom's check book as punishment for her "independent" attitude. Lorena (Roselyn Sanchez) is a high powered Chicago based lawyer. Her looks are hidden behind glasses, tightly pulled back hair and corporate attire -- which means you can figure out her character's story arc just from our description. Almost finally is CiCi (Sofia Vergara), a cocktail waitress in Miami who aspires to a life as a professional dancer. Think Charo, with less of an accent.

Papi has already discussed his "problem" with his doctor, who prescribes a tranquilizer to help take the edge off. He'll need that when all three show up on his LA doorstep, a having taken the advice of a real-life TV astrologer, Walter Mercado. This telepsychic has advised his audience to hunt down and get their man to commit to a relationship before someone else steals him away. Two ladies grab the next jet and CiCi and a pal drive the pal's boyfriend's car. He's in jail in LA.

We think. Four screenwriters play fast and loose with character backgrounds and story ideas, running their story at such a frenetic pace that we were lost soon after the fillies left the starting gates. Add to the mix two more femmes, an FBI Agent (Lisa Vidal) who's tailing the car CiCi is driving and Papi's own love struck personal assistant Mary (Joy Enriquez) and then thank your lucky stars that the film doesn't follow through on all the men who get moony-eyed when the dude strolls by.

Oh, yeah, the girls discover each others existence just about the time Papi is sorta kinda removed from the story thanks to his choice of beverage with which to take his pills. When his unconscious bod disappears the question for our three protagonists becomes Who kidnapped Papi? Who's going to be the lucky gal to track him down and land the big prize? Wish we could tell you but Cranky's memory is in the crapper and Chasing Papi tossed so much stuff at (us) that we were left cold. Not a good thing for a comedic romance but a fine thing for scanning on tape. That being written, we're going to split the difference on this one...

On average, a first run movie ticket will run you Ten Bucks. Were Cranky able to set his own price to Chasing Papi, he would have paid . . .

$5.00

If we were a dating teen, Chasing Papi would have nailed a couple of extra bucks 'cuz it's a fine dateflick for early daters who can either commit to the flick or just sit and enjoy it as lightweight prelude to their after date, uh, festivities. We, being far beyond dating age, still like to look and would have been more than happy grabbing the DVD as a rental.

The Cranky Critic® is a Registered Trademark of, and his website is Copyright © 1995 - 2009 by, Chuck Schwartz. Articles by Paul Fischer Copyright © 1999 - 2006 Paul Fischer. All images, unless otherwise noted, are property of,©, ®, ™ their respective studios and are used by permission. All Rights Reserved. Not to be used or copied for any commercial purpose. Academy Award™(s) and Oscar®(s) are registered trademarks and service marks of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences.