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IN SHORT: Dreadful. [Rated R for language and some sexuality.
108 minutes]
Paul (Paul Schneider) is the closest thing to a stud
that his town in North Carolina has ever seen. Well, maybe it's better
to say "all of his friends in his town..." as a more accurate
description, 26 being the proper number if we remember the brief mention
in David Gordon Green's All the Real Girls correctly.
His dreams of Number 27, Noel (Zooey Deschanel), who
happens to be the sister of his pals, Tip (Shea Whigham).
For Paul, it's true love. Really. Totally thunderstruck never gonna look
at another woman again. For Noel, it's love, too. Her first.
As in, first. To say anything more would bust the all but nonexistent
storyline of All the Real Girls.
This is a film that spends just about every minute of its run time building
characters. And, that being said, with the sole exception of the even
that either spoils or cements the relationship, that's all it does. Sorry
to be obtuse about that folks but that's the way it's got to be. It may
be lovely for the art house set but is it strong enough to merit your
ten-spot? No.
All the Real Girls was a script written before writer/director
David Gordon Green struck fame in the film festival circuit,
with a film called George Washington. We've seen it before and
we're seeing it again. The festivals rave about the next big thing and,
with this old and beloved script burning a hole in the bottom of a trunk
somewhere, Green dug it out and gave it its moment in the sun. We don't
know how much extra work, if any, he's put into this film script. Whatever
it may have been, it wasn't nearly enough.
On average, a first run movie ticket will run you Ten Bucks. Were Cranky
able to set his own price to All the Real Girls, he would have
paid . . .
Avoid it.
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