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All The Real Girls

Starring Paul Schneider, Zooey Deschanel and Patricia Clarkson
Written and Directed by David Gordon Green

IN SHORT: Dreadful. [Rated R for language and some sexuality. 108 minutes]

Paul (Paul Schneider) is the closest thing to a stud that his town in North Carolina has ever seen. Well, maybe it's better to say "all of his friends in his town..." as a more accurate description, 26 being the proper number if we remember the brief mention in David Gordon Green's All the Real Girls correctly. His dreams of Number 27, Noel (Zooey Deschanel), who happens to be the sister of his pals, Tip (Shea Whigham). For Paul, it's true love. Really. Totally thunderstruck never gonna look at another woman again. For Noel, it's love, too. Her first.

As in, first. To say anything more would bust the all but nonexistent storyline of All the Real Girls.

This is a film that spends just about every minute of its run time building characters. And, that being said, with the sole exception of the even that either spoils or cements the relationship, that's all it does. Sorry to be obtuse about that folks but that's the way it's got to be. It may be lovely for the art house set but is it strong enough to merit your ten-spot? No.

All the Real Girls was a script written before writer/director David Gordon Green struck fame in the film festival circuit, with a film called George Washington. We've seen it before and we're seeing it again. The festivals rave about the next big thing and, with this old and beloved script burning a hole in the bottom of a trunk somewhere, Green dug it out and gave it its moment in the sun. We don't know how much extra work, if any, he's put into this film script. Whatever it may have been, it wasn't nearly enough.

On average, a first run movie ticket will run you Ten Bucks. Were Cranky able to set his own price to All the Real Girls, he would have paid . . .


Avoid it.

amazon com link Click to buy films by David Gordon Green
Click to buy films starring Paul Schneider
Click to buy films starring Zooey Deschanel

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