Star Trek: Nemesis

Starring Patrick Stewart
Screenplay by Josh Logan; story by Logan, Rick Berman and Brent Spiner. Star Trek created by Gene Rodenberry
Directed by Stuart Baird
website: www.nemesis.startrek.com

IN SHORT: Ten is an even number. Those are the good ones, right?. [Rated PG-13 for sci-fi action violence and peril and a scene of sexual content. 116 minutes]

The tenth Star Trek movie has a ton of information to get out of the way before it can proceed with the main story, in which a creative way is found to destroy the Starship Enterprise (now in limited edition NCC-1701E). In short order, we are introduced to the planets Romulus and Remus. The Romulans are long time enemies of the Federation. The Remans, second class citizens in this binary planet system, are unknown quantities.

The Romulans want peace. The starship Enterprise, commanded by Captain Jean-Luc Picard (Patrick Stewart, click for StarTalk) is sent to broker a treaty. But when they cross the Neutral Zone and meet the new Praetor of the Romulan Empire, Shinzon (Tom Hardy), Picard is shocked to find that he is negotiating with a cloned version of himself. One who is younger, stronger, and has a mean hard on for his CloneDaddy -- yep, Captain Picard. Enterprise is doomed and, as always, if Enterprise falls, Earth will not be far behind.

If none of that makes any sense to you, then Star Trek Nemesis is not the place to jump forehead-ridge deep into the Trek: Next Generation franchise -- the pointy ears deep description is more appropriate for the original Trek. If it does, then you'll have a most wonderful time in the dark. We know this to be so because we brought our brother-in-law along, he a much bigger fan than we, and he told us we were too exhausted from the dozen plus other screenings we had planted for in the week before seeing Nemesis.

We went home and slept for a day and a half. For the most part, he's right.

There has been a coup d'etat in the Romulan Empire. Long controlled by the residents of the planet Romulus, the coup is orchestrated by a mysterious human resident of the planet Remus. We've covered that bit. The rest of the Trek universe is gathered for the wedding of former Enterprise Counselor Deanna Troi (Marina Sirtis) and soon to be Captain William Riker (Jonathan Frakes) of the Starship Titan. Riker's former superior officer, Captain Jean Luc-Picard of the Enterprise (Patrick Stewart) is the best man and the guests include just about every familiar face you can think of, save Colm Meaney. While en route to the Titan, the Enterprise detects a positronic signature and discovers pieces of an android neurologically more primitive but otherwise identical to Lt. Commander Data (Brent Spiner). Calling himself B-4, this mystery must be solved while the Enterprise, after receiving new orders from Admiral Janeway (Kate Mulgrew), heads for Romulus, where Shinzon and his evil Viceroy (Ron Perlman) await

The Star Trek universe has years of history and tons of continuity baggage that it totes along with each starship or deep space station that fills whatever portion of the galaxy a story is located in. Star Trek Nemesis is penned by Trekker John Logan, whose experience in writing epics was well formed by his work on Gladiator. With a story by actor Brent Spiner and Trek producer Rick Berman there isn't much that could slip by a continuity fanboy's eye, so some fanboy out in Cranky-land please tell us why no one remembers Lor and we'll rest easier. Knowing that this edition of Trek would be the last to feature the Next Generation cast in their old roles, a stronger than usual effort was made to give all the supporting characters more to do than usual. That means a first act where everyone gets some kind of speech explaining things that, once upon a time, were derived "technologically" or via special effects. We shut down from excess yadda yadda.

Which is our loss because the action that fills the rest of the movie is flat out killer. There's been way too much written about the big "surprises" in this Trek so we're going to shut up and prepare for the next non-Trek, impossible to sit through Oscar wannabe film we've got to see.

On average, a first run movie ticket will run you Ten Bucks. Were Cranky able to set his own price to Star Trek: Nemesis, he would have paid . . .

$7.50

We admit it, we're a Trek fan. We also admit that we're going by audience a helluva lot more than usual on this one, though we stand by the Trekkers only warning. We're just too tired to give you more.

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