cranky home
Reviews since 1993:   A-E     F-N      O-Z    Posters       Who We Are and Why We Do What We Do         Search the Site

Your Donations support the Site

Top Selling DVD     Books

50 Shades of Grey
Exodus Gods and Kings
Grand Budapest Hotel
Imitation Game, The
Into the Woods

Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit
Theory of Everything
Ride Along
We're the Millers
The Great Gatsby
The Avengers
Amazing Spider-Man
Girl w/ Dragon Tattoo
Dark Knight Trilogy
World War Z
Happy Feet 2
Iton Man 3 combo
Batman Begins
Dark Knight
Fifth Element
The Hangover
Hunger Games
James Bond 11 disc coll.
Lord of the Rings trilogy
Mission Impossible GP
Sherlock Holmes AGOS
Singing in the Rain
Snow White Huntsman
Star Trek Into Darkness combo
Star Wars Saga
21 Jump Street
Ultimate Matrix coll
X-Men First Class
X-Men Trilogy
X-Men Wolverine

 BLU-Ray for Family DVDs 
Alice in Wonderland (2010)
A Bug's Life
Chronicles of Narnia set
Harry Potter 1-8 collection
Iron Man 2 combo
Kung Fu Panda
Lord of the Rings Trilogy Pinocchio
Pirates of Caribbean trilogy
Pixar short films
Shrek the Whole Story
Sleeping Beauty
The Smurfs
Snow White & 7 Dwarfs
Star Trek motion pictures set
Star Trek TNG Season One
Star Wars Saga (1-6)
Toy Story combo
Toy Story 2 combo
Toy Story 3 combo
Wall-E SE


Search engine by FreeFind
Click to add search to YOUR web site!
click to search site

Alice in Wonderland
Beauty and the Beast
Kung Fu Panda
The Lion King
Mary Poppins 45th LE
Princess Mononoke
Shrek the Whole Story
Simpsons Movie
Spider-Man Trilogy
Spirited Away
Star Trek movies set
Star Trek TOS (TV)
ST:TNG complete tv set
Star Wars Trilogy (1-3)
Star Wars Trilogy (4-6)
Toy Story DVD combo
Toy Story 2 DVD combo
Toy Story 3 DVD combo
Wallace and Gromit
Wall-E SE

Buy Movie collectibles
TV/Movie Collectibles

movie review query engine

NY film critics online

Privacy Policy

Click for full sized poster

Buy the Poster

Bad Company

Starring Anthony Hopkins and Chris Rock
Screenplay by Jason Richman ad Michael Bowning
Story by Gary Goodman and David Himmelstein
Directed by Joel Schumacher

IN SHORT: A terrorist group gets their hands on a stolen suitcase sized nuke with which to target fat, corporate, lazy, imperialistic America! What? Again??? [Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of violent action, some sensuality and language. 110 minutes]

Two things we've learned over the last couple of years: Even if it makes no sense, director Joel Schumacher will always deliver a colorful, pretty to look at motion picture. Second, Even if it makes no sense, producer Jerry Bruckheimer will ensure that there's enough action and gunfire and explosions and other extremely loud noises to keep anyone with attention deficit disorder happy as a pig in you-know-what.

On the surface, Michael Turner (Chris Rock) is a cultured dealer of antiquities who has a small and tres tres chic showroom -- Michael Turner Antik -- in the city of Prague in the Czech republic. There you may find the highest quality furniture and knick knacks -- no low budget what do you think it's worth Antiques Roadshow crap. No, we're talking fancy french named chairs and crystal vases with six figure price tags and the occasional thermonuclear device that fell off the back of a truck.

It is here we begin a storywhich in short time will begin dropping so many plot twists on you that only the pandamoneom of way too many gunshots fired at our heroes will keep you awake. For Michael Turner is, in truth Kevin Pope, agent of the CIA and he is about to die in the line of duty, protecting his partner, the emotionless veteran Gaylord Oakes (Anthony Hopkins). They've just set up the final arrangements to buy a stolen nuke from renegade ex-KGB operative when Michael slash Kevin is gunned down by an unknown band of assassins. With less than ten days to find an alternative, the CIA goes diving into their databases and finds street hustler/ ticket scalper Jake Hayes (Chris Rock), in reality the long lost twin brother of Mr. Pope (Chris Rock). Jake is everything is brother wasn't. He's not soft spoken. He doesn't pronounce consonants or speak clearly. He doesn't dress for success. In short, he's a brother to the core (as opposed to his biological brother who, in the terminology we know, would be called an Oreo). Oakes enlists Jake in a scheme to impersonate "Michael" -- we told you it was complicated -- and we're off to the races.

or... a tourist's guide to the Czech Republic, with machine gun fire an added bonus. When the story writers, all four of 'em, run out of ideas, Rock shoots from the hip. Falling back on his standup background, the man blasts out all sorts of "I can't believe I'm doing this!" gutter rap and doesn't manage to maintain his cover character for more than about seven seconds. The kink in the mix is the reappearance of "Michael"'s girlfriend Nicole (Garcelle Beauvais-Nilon) who doesn't pick up on the fact that her main ain't her man until she kisses him.

Let's go back to that "can't maintain cover" observation for a second. Nicole is too dumb to catch the differences immediately, which may explain why she's working as a reporter for CNN Europe. Once she cops to the scheme, the CIA lets her walk away . . . this after warning Jake that she could spill everything to the whole wide world 'cuz she's a reporter for CNN Europe. Jeez...

That's another part of the Bruckheimer template. Repeat everything that has gone before, a lot, then forget about any kind of continuity with it and then fire off a lot of guns. After chasing the nuke all over Europe, the action shifts back to the States, where Jake's girlfriend, nurse Julie (Kerry Washington) is ready to dump her guy and move off to a better life in Seattle. Luckily, there's a multi-national terrorist network breathing down the neck of the world, and a completely incompetant CIA force cold on his trail.

Four writers. Four movies written and four different performances delivered by Chris Rock. Hopkins, with that marvelous voice of his, doesn't have to do anything but let his voice do the acting. And that's what he does. Bad Company is so in need of an original idea that you can set your arm on "automatic feed" to shovel the popcorn in. All that action is fine for fifteen year old kidlets and even better for popcorn sales in the theater. Every grownup should wait to rent . . . a very, very long time.

On average, a first run movie ticket will run you Nine Bucks. Were Cranky able to set his own price to Bad Company, he would have paid . . .


dateflick level if you're young enough and have nothing better to do. Bad Company is so totally ridiculous that the crowd around us dissed at the screen. All of 'em walked out saying the film was "fun," so go figure. Action will out.

amazon com link Click to buy films by Joel Schumacher
Click to buy films starring Anthony Hopkins
Click to buy films starring Chris Rock
Click Here!

The Cranky Critic website is Copyright © 1995  -  2017  by Chuck Schwartz. Articles by Paul Fischer are Copyright © 1999 - 2006 Paul Fischer. All images, unless otherwise noted, are property of,©, ®, their respective studios and are used by permission. All Rights Reserved. Not to be used or copied for any commercial purpose. Academy Award(s) and Oscar®(s) are registered trademarks and service marks of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences.