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IN SHORT: Even Kirsten Dunst in a bikini can't save this mess. [Rated PG-13 for some crude/Sexual Humor, Teen Drinking and Language. ]
It was Destiny. It was True Love. When they kissed, there was this. . . feeling. And when Allison McAllister, age 7, left town, Berke Landers was crushed.
But he got over it.
Ten years later, Allison (Melissa Sagemiller) is back. Berke (Ben Foster), once again, knows that feeling of True Love. A Love that will last forever and ever.
Which, in real terms, means sixteen months and three days. This time, Berke isn't about to give up. He wants Allison back, especially after she falls into the clutches of international pop-star Bentley "Striker" Scrumfeld (Shane West), whose band Swingtown Lads has MTV TRL's request lines buzzing for their hit vid "Love S.C.U.D" Volunteering to help Berke, by coaching him for auditions for the school play, is Kelly Woods (Kirsten Dunst), little sister of Berke's pal Felix (Colin Hanks).
Such is the set up for Get Over It. Anyone over the age of twelve can pretty much figure out the point of the story. This film boldly and valiantly tries to avoid using every single stereotype gag we've seen in every teen-targeted movie and succeeds mightily! The vomit joke is an afterthought. The piss joke, unexpectedly works and the other bodily function joke isn't utilized at all, though the set up is there. No, Get Over It, gets over the formula . . . and doesn't come up with anything to take its place.
There are several basic types of teen flick. Get Over It toys with the "embarrass the crap out of the star" version but refuses to exploit any of the situations it sets up. For instance: Berke's parents Frank and Beverly (Ed Begley Jr. and Swoozie Kurtz) host the TV show "Love Matters," all about relationships. These are loving and caring and sympathetic, condom-providing parents, just the type who wouldn't think twice about inadvertently embarrassing the crap out of their boy, accidentally, on live TV. There's cleavage provided by Carmen Elektra and Playboy model Kylie Bax. There are the requisite rap star cameos (Coolio and Vitamin C) and singer (Sisqó) in a bigger role as Berke's other best friend, Dennis.
But this film lays all of its bets on the shoulders of the multi-talented Martin Short. As Dr. Desmond Forrest-Oates, Short flails against the impossibly underdetailed characterization in R. Lee Fleming Jr.'s script. We think Forrest-Oates is a name dropping, Broadway star wannabe who definitely tries to be much phatter than his forty something body wants to be. He may flounce but there's mention of a never seen wife and his adaptation of Shakespeare's "A Rocking Midsummer Night's Dream," complete with a dozen self-penned songs, is the centerpiece of the second half of the movie.
Yes, there are a couple of laughs in Get Over It -- we saw it opening day because the studio wouldn't sneak or preview the flick -- but it's a loser for its market. We can ignore logic only so far so, sure, a bunch of high school kids who look like they're fifteen can get into a strip club. You can figure out the gag from what we've mentioned above. If you didn't, trust us, it goes down like a dud. The film is crippled by its high school setting -- if you're going to go with sex jokes it helps to have guys that are horny or who have experience or something. There's nothing to any of 'em. Lead femmes Dunst and Sagemiller have a bit more to work with, and they provide what passes for class in this thing.
On average, a first run movie ticket will run you Eight Bucks. Were Cranky able to set his own price to Get Over It, he would have paid...
The teevee ads can promise all the T&A in the world but it isn't in this film, Dunst in a bikini notwithstanding.
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