Private Parts

Starring Howard Stern
Written by Len Blum and Michael Kalesniko
Directed by Betty Thomas

I'm sorry to disappoint y'all, but radio personality and idol of millions Howard Stern does not, I repeat, does not appear in Private Parts, the film based upon the book of the same name by Howard Stern, radio personality and idol of millions.

As always, Cranky makes no comparison to the Source Material. But the biopic ends with Howard's war of nerves with the management of WNBC-AM in New York, on the third floor of NBC's world headquarters at 30 Rock. At the same time, Cranky was working up on the fifth floor and once appeared on the Howard Stern radio program, which hasn't influenced this review in any way. Really.

OK, on to the flick. It is true that the actor who plays the part of radio personality and idol of millions Howard Stern looks like and sounds like and even has the same name as the man who is idol of millions, but this guy can act! Then again, Howard Stern's entire career is an act. He's been saying it for years -- what you hear on the radio or see on his television show -- is an act.

The film follows Stern's life from a verbally abused little boy whose father constantly yelled at him to "shut up!" to the college kid who decides that the radio biz is where he wants to be (whereupon his father tells him that he "doesn't talk enough!"). He finds true love. He finds that no one likes him trying to do standard radio shtick, so he begins to push the limits of outrageousness. The film concentrates on the real Stern, as opposed to the creation and in doing so it works marvelously.

Those of you out there that are rabid Howard fans may well be disappointed that the Stern you see on the big screen is a sensitive, loyal, and fairly lovable dork of a guy. Those of you out there who hate Howard will be surprised as well. Those of you who are in the middle, and don't mind a lot of raunchy language, and a bit of nudity will laugh your fannies off.

On average, a first run movie ticket will run you Eight Bucks. Were Cranky able to set his own price to Private Parts, he would have paid . . .

$6.50

It would've been $7, but I'm taking Stuttering John's side. Stern sidekicks Robin and Fred are in the flick but John isn't and neither is Cranky. Sure, I was on the show only once and for only ten minutes, but it's my review and I can do what I want. So there! <vbg>

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