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The Cranky Critic® is a Registered Trademark of, and his website is  Copyright © 1995-2015 by, Chuck Schwartz. All Rights Reserved. All images, unless otherwise noted, are property of and ©, ®, ™ their respective studios. Used by permission. Not to be used or copied for any commercial purpose. Academy Award™(s) and Oscar®(s) are registered trademarks and service marks of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences.

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Seen and Not Reviewed: these are usually limited releases, documentaries or foreign films that we normally may not cover (though, given our deteriorating physical capability, some releases in the December or Summer gluts are here, too). We've been getting enough eMail inquiries that we'll be keeping the paragraph summaries in one place, here, linked from the Archives pages

night listener

The Night Listener stars Robin Williams and Toni Collette, he as a radio talker who gets a mysterious phone call from a listener; she as the mother of the caller . . . maybe . . . and that's the basis for the mystery of this hardcore art house flick. Endless in length. Unwatchable for reg'lar folk (which means the non reg'lars will find something to rave about Williams' one note performance). Avoid.

scoop

An American student (Scarlett Johansson) pursues a nobleman (Hugh Jackman) who may be a killer in Woody Allen's Scoop. Allen plays a magnificent second banana as "The Great Splendini," a magician who brings a deceased detective (Ian McShane of Deadwood) back from the "other side" For the grownups out there, this is an OK film. Rent

snakes on a plane

Snakes on a Plane stars Samuel L Jackson. No one in the press got to see it. Why should we have to? Everything you need to know is in the title. . . Snakes on a Plane. Heck, even if we told you it was a big stinkin' pile, you'd still lay down the ten spot. You know you would. It is, after all, Snakes on a Plane

 
step up

Step Up introduces the unique concept of high heeled ballet slippers to our Western civilization in a film that crosses economic lines and tries to bring "hip hop dancing" into an classically oriented arts high school. Aimed at teen girls, those in our audience were laughing at all the wrong places.

wedding date

Fans of Will & Grace star Debra Messing may be sucked in to her Pretty Woman rip off, The Wedding Date. Half our audience laughed at the thing. The other half stared dumbstruck at the screen, because there is nothing funny anywhere in the vicinity of the story. There's no chemistry between Messing and co-star Dermot Mulroney (as the escort she hires and flies to London for her sister's wedding). Been there. Done that. 90 minutes of pain and boredom.

you, me anddupree

You, Me and Dupree stars Owen Wilson who mooches off newly married friends Kate Hudson and Matt Dillon while the latter tries desperately to impress his new father-in-law (Michael Douglas). Two hours of rarely funny, usually painful would be comedy with a romantic twist. Pay at your own peril. You are warned.