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The Lost World:
Starring
Jeff Goldblum, Julianne Moore, |
IN SHORT: See Dick. See Jane. See Dinosaurs. Run Like Hell. Cool.
Sequels usually, with just a few classic exceptions, bite. Steven Spielberg, who has made more classic movies than Cranky could even dream of making, knows this. Jurassic Park let us go "oooh" and "aaah" over the neat dinosaur effects, and scared us silly when the Raptors and Rexes hunted the tender young kidlets. The Lost World can deliver better ooo's with improved tech but could it rivet an audience to the seat?
This is what we know: there is another island on which tests were carried out and abandoned prior to the relocation to the Jurassic Park we saw in the last movie. On this "Site B" an entire world of dinosaurs has grown and reproduced, completely uncontrolled by human hands. What is mankind to do with such an island? Well, we could capture a couple of the man-eaters and put 'em on display in a major city. Or we could declare the dinos an "endangered species" and send scientists to study them and help them grow. Which is where Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jeff Goldblum) returns to our story. His girlfriend Sarah (Julianne Moore) is one of the bleeding hearts and he goes to save the day. Stowing away on the ship to Site B is the daughter none of us ever knew he had. Keeping everything all the more interesting is the always fun to watch Pete Postlethwaite as the hunter who wants to bag a T-Rex.
It being 5 pm the
day before release, Cranky is on his way to get on line for the ten pm
sneak. I'm that stupid... I still can't get through the first one on my
laserdisk with surround sound in the safe confines of my living room.
The show I'm seeing is in a monster sized theater, with monster size screen
and sound. I hope the sucker scares me to death....
Hola mes amigos! Hi there! eDrive's Head Honcho Michael Bolanos here, via cyberlink from Cancun, Mexico where it's warm and sunny and no dinosaurs are munching on the children. I'm just dropping in to let you know that Cranky didn't make it out of the lobby of the Ziegfeld Theater in New York without collapsing in a drooling heap. So, I guess we're looking for a new Cranky this year, too. Let us take a moment to remember last year's Cranky, who vanished after aliens nuked New York in the Jeff Goldblum starrer Independence Day. Ah! There it is on the radio! "Film critic keels over after seeing the Jeff Goldblum starrer The Lost World: Jurassic Park.
...waitasec...
Hello, Police? Yes, I'd like to swear out a warrant. Yes. That is correct. Murder. No, maybe accessory to murder. Yes, accessory to murder. Do you think that's a bit heavy? It can be accessory to manslaughter if you think murder is too much. OK, you call it. Goldblum, Jeff Goldblum. G. O. L. D....
On average, a first run movie ticket will run you Eight Bucks. Were Cranky
able to set his own price to The Lost World: Jurassic Park, he
would have paid...
$7.00
Incredible effects. Scary as hell. But a useless and continuity and plot error filled addendum (which sets the dinos loose in San Diego) led to the unanimous conclusion of all the folk around me: "Once is enough."
Then again, what the devil do we know?
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