why Cranky is in pain
Reviews since 1993:   A-E     F-N      O-Z    Posters       Who We Are and Why We Do What We Do     Contact    Search the Site

Your Donations support the Site

Top Selling DVD     Books

50 Shades of Grey
Exodus Gods and Kings
Grand Budapest Hotel
Imitation Game, The
Into the Woods

Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit
Theory of Everything
Ride Along
We're the Millers
The Great Gatsby
The Avengers
Amazing Spider-Man
Girl w/ Dragon Tattoo
Dark Knight Trilogy
World War Z
Happy Feet 2
Iton Man 3 combo
Batman Begins
Dark Knight
Fifth Element
The Hangover
Hunger Games
James Bond 11 disc coll.
Lord of the Rings trilogy
Mission Impossible GP
Sherlock Holmes AGOS
Singing in the Rain
Snow White Huntsman
Star Trek Into Darkness combo
Star Wars Saga
21 Jump Street
Ultimate Matrix coll
X-Men First Class
X-Men Trilogy
X-Men Wolverine

 BLU-Ray for Family DVDs 
Alice in Wonderland (2010)
A Bug's Life
Chronicles of Narnia set
Harry Potter 1-8 collection
Iron Man 2 combo
Kung Fu Panda
Lord of the Rings Trilogy Pinocchio
Pirates of Caribbean trilogy
Pixar short films
Shrek the Whole Story
Sleeping Beauty
The Smurfs
Snow White & 7 Dwarfs
Star Trek motion pictures set
Star Trek TNG Season One
Star Wars Saga (1-6)
Toy Story combo
Toy Story 2 combo
Toy Story 3 combo
Wall-E SE


Search engine by FreeFind
Click to add search to YOUR web site!
click to search site

Alice in Wonderland
Beauty and the Beast
Kung Fu Panda
The Lion King
Mary Poppins 45th LE
Princess Mononoke
Shrek the Whole Story
Simpsons Movie
Spider-Man Trilogy
Spirited Away
Star Trek movies set
Star Trek TOS (TV)
ST:TNG complete tv set
Star Wars Trilogy (1-3)
Star Wars Trilogy (4-6)
Toy Story DVD combo
Toy Story 2 DVD combo
Toy Story 3 DVD combo
Wallace and Gromit
Wall-E SE

Buy Movie collectibles
TV/Movie Collectibles

movie review query engine

NY film critics online

Privacy Policy

if lucy fell If Lucy Fell
Starring Sarah Jessica Parker, Eric Schaeffer, and Ben Stiller
Written and Directed by Eric Schaeffer

Lucy Ackerman (Sarah Jessica Parker) and Joe McGaunaughil (Eric Schaeffer) are pushing 30. She's a working therapist [psychologist?] with a rich Dad who wants her in Harvard Med, so she can take over his clinic. He's a painter who hasn't had sex in five years, because he's been obsessing about Jane (Elle Macpherson). Jane lives across the alley and serves as the inspiration for all Joes's paintings. Together, they want to open a private school, despite the fact that he only teaches part time and she doesn't want to ask her dad for the money they need.

When they were "young" Lucy and Joe made a Death Pact. If they weren't in individually satisfying, happily familial portending relationships by the time Lucy hit 30 ( cuz they're "just friends"), they would kill themselves. Well, that's a month away and a big painted calendar on the wall is counting down the days to their appointment with the Brooklyn Bridge.

Those of us who have already hit the big Three-Oh know the feeling. It's a promising start for a movie but, in the meantime, the characters sit around and talk to each other. A lot. Sometimes they talk to themselves. Out loud. A lot. Lucy vows to date "anyone" who asks her out. Joe vows to talk to Jane, but acts more like a stalker. They talk about bodily functions. Into the mix comes a very successful pop art painter named Bwick, wearing dreadlocks and castoffs from The Artist Formerly Known As Prince. The character is too bizarre to be believed, and is portrayed, appropriately, by the very funny Ben Stiller. His attempts to court Lucy, and her reactions, are intentionally artistic and bizarre.

Sarah Jessica Parker as Lucy, for all the neuroses inherent in her character, brings new meaning to the phrase "Doctor Heal Thyself." She plays straight man to the antics of Bwick and goes line for line with the rat-tat-tatterings of roommate Joe. Her character sets a stage and lets the men overact.

Eric Schaeffer wrote and directed If Lucy Fell and had the bad sense to cast himself as star of the thing. If he had passed on the latter, he probably would have had the time to concentrate on his directing which is collegiate-level, full of mismatched shots.

As for the script, it's a mess of regurgitory expository, recap and reenactment which cameos by Mujibar and Sirajul (as seen on David Letterman) can't save. Granted, there are occasional bits of very funny ideas that surface, but the joke is funny only the first time you hear it. Not the third.

I agree with the general negative consensus of those Crankified after the show. "It's not good when you can see the story coming waaaay in advance" and "The last 20 minutes, I wished they would jump" are representative of the Gen X target audience, and an older couple wished that the characters had been more sympathetic. Not even nostalgia works here.

Cranky doesn't make comparisons, but the audience is free to. Which is where the only positive comment comes in: "It was better than The Juror." Make of it what you will.

On average, a first run movie ticket will run you Eight Bucks. Were Cranky able to set his own price for If Lucy Fell, he would have paid . . .


Cuz even if I waited for the three dollar rental, I'd still be fast forwarding my brains out when the tape got into the machine.

Click to buy films by Eric Schaeffer
Click to buy films starring Jessica Parker
Click to buy films starring Ben Stiller

The Cranky Critic® is a Registered Trademark of, and his website is Copyright © 1995  -  2016   by Chuck Schwartz. Articles by Paul Fischer are Copyright © 1999 - 2006 Paul Fischer. All images, unless otherwise noted, are property of,©, ®, their respective studios and are used by permission. All Rights Reserved. Not to be used or copied for any commercial purpose. Academy Award(s) and Oscar®(s) are registered trademarks and service marks of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences.