Archives:  A - E      F - N      O - Z       Posters       Message Boards     
Who We Are and Why We Do What We Do

Your Donations support the Site

Buy Cranky stuff

Buy Movie Posters

   BLU-RAY DVDs:
Batman Begins
Black Hawk Down
Blade Runner
Casino Royale
Dark Knight
District Nine
Defiance
Fast and Furious
Fast and Furious movies set
Fifth Element
The Hangover
Incredible HULK
Inglorious Basterds
Iron Man
Kill Bill 1 & 2
James Bond Ultimate ed v1James Bond Ultimate ed v2James Bond Ultimate ed v3
Julie & Julia 
Moon
Public Enemies
Rambo box set
Silence of the Lambs
Sin City
This is Spinal Tap
Terminator
Terminator Salvation
Terminator 2
Top Gun
Total Recall
300
Transformers: Revenge of Fallen
Ultimate Matrix coll
Twilight
Underworld
Watchmen (dir cut)
X-Men Trilogy
X-Men Wolverine

BLU-Ray for family DVDs
Bolt
A Bug's Life
Cars
Chronicles of Narnia set
Coraline
Ghostbusters
Harry Potter & Chamber of Secrets
& Goblet of Fire
& Order of Phoenix
& Prisoner of Azkaban
& Sorcerers Stone
Ice Age/Alvin + Chipmunks set
The Incredibles
Jungle Book
Juno
Kung Fu Panda
Monsters Inc
Nightmare Before Xmas
101 Dalmatians
Pinocchio
Pirates of the Caribbean trilogy
Pixar short films
Ratatouille
Santa Clause
Santa Clause 2
Sleeping Beauty
Spiderwick Chronicles
Sleeping Beauty
Snow White & 7 Dwarfs
Star Trek motion pictures set
Star Wars Prequel Trilogy (1-3)
Star Wars Trilogy (4-6)
Transformers SE
Wallace and Gromit
Wall-E SE

Search engine by FreeFind

click to search site

        Now in Release:
    2012
A Perfect Getaway
The Blind Side
A Christmas Carol
An Education
Fifty Dead Men Walking
Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus
Invictus
Is Anybody There?
It's Complicated
Loss of a Teardrop Diamond
The Lovely Bones
My Sister's Keeper
New in Town
Nine
Pirate Radio
Precious
The Proposal
Red Cliff
The Road
Shrink
St. Trinian's
The Strip
Surrogates
Taken
The Uninvited
Up in the Air
Young Victoria

    DVDs on Sale:
Aliens Quadrilogy (set)
An American in Paris
Batman Begins
Blade Runner
Coraline
The Dark Knight
Day the Earth Stood Still
Defiance
Die Hard collection 1-4
District Nine
Last Days of Fillmore West
Fast & Furious movies set
Forrest Gump
Gone With the Wind
The Hangover
Alfred Hitchcock set
Indiana Jones trilogy
Inglorious Basterds
Iron Man SE
Lord of Rings 12 discs
Marx Bros set
Ultimate Matrix set
Milk
Monty Python - Holy Grail
Moon
Public Enemies
Sin City
South Park Movie
Star Wars Trilogy (1-3)
Star Wars Trilogy (4-6)
Terminator Salvation
Up
Wall-E
Watchmen - Ultimate cut
Woodstock
X-Men Trilogy
X-Men Origins Wolverine

DisneyPixar & family DVDs
Alice in Wonderland
Bambi
Beauty and the Beast
Beverly Hills Chihuahua
Bolt
Cinderella
Coraline
E.T.
Harry Potter yrs 1-4 set
Harry Potter
 & Chamber of Secrets
 & Goblet of Fire
 & Prisoner of Azkaban
 & Sorcerers Stone
 & Order of Phoenix
Kung Fu Panda
The Lion King
Mary Poppins 45th LE
Pinocchio
Ratatouille
Santa Clause
Santa Clause 2
Shrek Trilogy
Simpsons Movie
Spider-Man Trilogy
Star Trek movies set
Star Trek TOS (TV)
ST:TNG complete tv set
Star Wars Trilogy (1-3)
Star Wars Trilogy (4-6)
Wallace and Gromit
Wall-E SE

Looney Toons
Golden Age DVD
Volume 1
Volume 2
Volume 3
Volume 4
Volume 5
Volume 6
Rocky & Bullwinkle DVD
Season 1
Season 2
Season 3
Popeye the Sailor DVD
v.1  1933 - 1938
v.2  1938 - 1940
v.3 1941 - 1943
75th anniversary coll.ed.

Privacy Policy

IN SHORT: Ripley should've stayed dead.

Alien was a terrific SF thriller/horror flick, putting an inhuman monster in the confines of a spaceship. Aliens was one of the few sequels to top its predecessor, doing so by shifting into action mode. Cranky has no idea what Alien 3 was supposed to be, though you couldn't miss the religious symbolism as Ripley consigned herself, and the baby Alien, to the fiery pit.

It isn't Cranky's practice to make comparisons to Source Material but, in this case, if I hadn't you'd have no idea what to rent to answer your inevitable questions. Alien Resurrection is not the place to jump into the saga.

If you don't know the events of the previous three flicks, you won't understand why the guy in the next seat is going bananas when different types of alien creatures (face huggers, chest bursters, etc.) pop out of nooks and gratings in the military spaceship U.S.S. Aurica. If you don't, you won't get the jokes, most of which are very amusing, for moreso than any horror or action tale before it, Alien Resurrection is a comedy.

The comedy all comes from the mouth of the clone of Ellen Ripley (Sigourney Weaver), whose offhand comments about the situations she encounters 200 years after she died are truly funny. Ripley herself has changed in small, biological ways, and those changes have a great impact on the story that plays out. But Cranky isn't going to tell you how (and don't be yelling at Cranky for spilling that Ripley is a clone. It's been all over the Internet and entertainment mags for months!)

You'll have a wonderful time watching Alien Resurrection, if the gore doesn't make you nauseous (like the unfortunate woman in front of me who still liked the thing), because it's beautiful. From the title sequence on in, director Jean-Pierre Jeunet tops his last film, The City of Lost Children, which was just as beautiful but harder to follow. There is no question that Jeunet's visual talent is not a fluke. There is no question that those same visuals will keep your eyes riveted to the screen, even when what story there is threatens to put your lights out.

The script, by Toy Story scribe Joss Whedon, is so full of testosterone laden dialog that the attitudes and expletives are just plain boring. The story, involving a military effort to revive Ripley and tame the Alien inside her (rent Alien 3 for that story) must've looked good on paper. The visuals look great on celluloid. The story that Whedon created is solid enough, but Alien Resurrection isn't scary or Wham! Bang! Pow! filled with action. It is tedious and tired and a tease. By the time you get to the novel twist in the tale, you won't care.

Forget the military scientists (led by comic actor Dan Hedaya) who have replaced the evil Big Corporation; just like Alien there is a tiny band of stalwart ET bashers, chief of which are a foul mouthed smuggler named Johner (Ron Perlman) and the tougher than she looks Call (Winona Ryder). Add to the pack a steadfast leader, a guy in a wheelchair and another pair of weapons toting expendables.

Of course, Cranky could be lying about who is and who isn't expendable. If you are new to the tale, bring a friend to brief you. You'll need help. If you're old to the tale, the new material looks spectacular. That's about it.

On average, a first run movie ticket will run you Eight Bucks. Were Cranky able to set his own price to Alien Resurrection, he would have paid...

$4.00

Alien as an art film. Who woulda thunk it.

	Click to buy films by Jean-Pierre Jeunet
	Click to buy films starring Sigourney Weaver
	Click to buy films starring Winona Ryder