buy Cranky gear!
Buy Cranky stuff
amazon.gif
Books     DVDs
Kindle eBooks
          the cranky critic is a registered trademark of chuck schwartz
Reviews since 1994: 
  A-E     F-N      O-Z    Posters       Who We Are and Why We Do What We Do
   

DONATE to support the site   
buy movie posters allposters
Buy Movie Posters

CRANKY SEZ:   We're spending our time ripping through a stack of DVD screeners for films that want end of year award mentions. Thanks for sticking with what's left of nearly 25 years of writing this site and its predecessor. Unfortunately, we expect that the Donald Trump regime will cut off the medical and other support that has kept us functioning on one leg. The whole point of disability coverage is to help people, like me, try to get back on their feet (in my case, after three -- yes, 3 -- broken necks "events.")

The new America doesn't seem to want any of its old and broken citizens around anymore. We're good for another six weeks. Maybe.

[For those coming in late: We had hoped to get through the end of the year as usual, with reviews for you prior to a film's release. That is not going to happen. Cranky's right leg has stopped working. well enough to walk a couple of New York city blocks and get up and down subway stairs. The spinal cord damage disabling our leg also takes its toll on our back and its ability to sit in a movie theater seat for two hours at a time. Imagine, then, a day with four films to see and you understand our problem at this time of year. We will see what we can.]

Manchester by the Sea

Manchester By The Sea is being touted as the greatest film of the year . . .yeah, if you want to be stapled to your seat while this interminable film muddles through to its big surprise (which would be a great one, if the rest of the flm hadn't bored the utter junk out of us)

la la land

La La Land is, by comparison to the tilm at the left, the far superior sit. Screenwriters will contemplate t he one moment in their work where a story can go off in any number of directions. La La Land decides to take that point and follow it three ways . . . and does it so well that we didn't catch on until the film was nearly done. Emma Stone's character wants to be an actor (which means she's a waitress). Ryan Gosling's dude is a jazz musician who hates every bit of success that he gets (because he's a purist). And btw the film is a musical! The concept is brilliant. The execution not quite as much. Still, it isn't a bad couple of hours in the dark.

jackie

If you are of a certain generation, which includes yours Cranky, Natalie Portman's portrayal of Jackie Kennedy will bring tears to your eyes. The good kind. The kind that gets nominations and awards and stuff like that.

DON'T PAY FOR POSTER DOWNLOADS


Apparently some old backup pages managed to get loaded from a time when an old ISP hit us with charges for too many downloads. $3000 worth of charges. It almost killed this site in the birthing progress. We will track down the bad pages but, based on the error messages I'm getting from paypal, no one has actually been billed the dollar (because the paypal account linked to the "bill" is long disconnected). How old were those pages? Approximately the year 2000. How they got back on line is beyond me.

DON'T PAY FOR POSTER DOWNLOADS

Hacksaw Ridge

Hacksaw Ridge, from director Mel Gibson details the true story of a U.S. Army Medal of Honor recipient (Andrew Garfield) who never touched a gun throughout his military service and -- as a medic. saved 75 men in the brutal battle on Okinawa in 1945. It's been ten years since Gibson has made a film. He has made three in this one. One romance. One about a perceived coward. One about a hero. If it wasn't true you wouldn't believe it. ($6.50)

trolls

"You don't need toys to be happy "is, apparently, the message of Trolls, which is where parents should take the kiddies this weekend. What we said to the left applies here, too. We just didn't have extra screenings of Trolls to get to. When screened, from a DVD copy, we were not all that impressed

loving

Loving, the true story of how interracial marriage became legal in these here United States. Joel Edgerton and Ruth Negga play the real life couple who moved from Virginia to Washington D.C. to get married, and then spent nine years fighint with their home state to get their union recognized as legit. KThe battle went all the way to the Supreme Court and the film gives a matter of fact telling -- which is its only flaw (!) We expected something more triumphant . . . which is why we write reviews instead of screenplays. Serious film. Good film. See it.

Girl on a Train

The Girl on a Train stars Emily Blunt, Hayley Bennett, Rebecca Ferguson, Justin Theroux and Luke Evan. Think of it as a murder mystery-thriller based on a menage a trois with an extra player or two. The main witness? An alcoholic prone to booze induced blackouts. Blame director Tate Taylor for building his film with so many flashbacks that it becomes almost impossible to follow the story. Cranky says "pass".

american pastoral

American Pastoral is actor Ewan McGregor's move to the director's chair. His character is Jewish. Wife Jennifer Connelly is Catholic and daughter Dakota Fanning joins the radical Black Panthers in a film based on Philip Roth's novel about Jewish assimilation and the destruction of an American family by the 1960s. Unfortunately, the film's story is way too complicated to make sense -- especially when the creators have no understanding of the horrifying concept of assimilation (and you'd have to be Jewish to understand) that drive the story. Cranky says "pass".

Inferno

Inferno is star Tom Hanks' third go-round as symbologist Robert Langdon (as he did in The DaVinci Code and in Angerls and Demons).

Yech..

Before the Flood

So, y'know how scientists have been babbling about global warming and the End of Days? All the stuff you've been ignoring? Actor Leonardo DiCaprio and director Fisher Stevens team to look at what happens Before the Flood. Adults who don't mind the occasional documentary in their life will either agree with the concepts in the film or find new things to deny. Cranky's movie review

priceless

Priceless pits a down and out widower against a Texas based pimp. In the middle are two Mexican girls, probably illegal, definitely sold into the trade against their will and transported by our hero to their doom. It is a very slow paced film, not at all a "Faith Based" film, as it is being pitched. Wait to Rent.

 

whole truth

The Whole Truth stars Keanu Reeves as a defense lawyer. His client (Gabriel Basso) has been accused of patricide (meaning: killing his own daddy, played in flashback by Jim Belushi).

A BIG SURPRISE!!! ending is ruined by editing that only serves to confuse the story.

Something ate our review ... we hate Windows10 ... so take our word for it and wait to rent.

 

Have we mentioned that politicians are trying to outlaw the painkiller which has kept us alive since 1998? The glut of Oxycodone (aka Percocet) prescriptions is not just because users are getting high from the stuff.-- although we never have. We live in pain 24/7. That's what the pills are for -- It is because all the cokeheads of the 1980s now have careers and families and assets they couldn't afford to lose if they got busted with powder. So, the cokeheads moved to pills. After all, no one thinks twice if an aging person takes a pain pill. We know it is true because we've had to cut off our ex-cokehead friends, all of whom would sidle up to us and say : "You couldn't possibly need all that Percocet; good friend good buddy good pal. My migraine headache is just killing me. You can spare half a dozen pills, right?" We swear on a bible that that junkie-like bit if begging is true. Those friends are no longer friends.

The Cranky Critic, since 1993 . . .           To Be Continued . . .

TRAILERS: WALLPAPER  DOWNLOADS:

Wonder Woman -- Anonymous -- Point Break -- Max -- The 33 -- The Legend of Tarzan -- Central Intelligence -- The Good Dinosaur (Disney) -- The Walking Dead --Cooties -- In the Heart of the Sea -- Winter Sleep -- Do You Believe? -- Woman in Gold -- '71 -- Predestination -- Unbroken -- White Rabbit -- Black or White -- Space Station 76 --Frontera -- What If -- Catch Hell -- Land Ho! -- 4 Minute Mile -- The Prince -- Hercules -- Cantinflas -- The Longest Week --

War Story -- Hide Your Smiling Faces -- Perfect Sisters -- A Night in Old Mexico -- Gold Frapp Tales of Us -- Palo Alto -- Only Lovers Left Alive -- Stage Fright -- Moms Night Out -- Alien Abduction -- Ant Boy -- The Duke of Burgundy -- Fractured -- S -- The Drop -- Liars All -- Bad Words -- 10 Rules for Sleeping Around --13 Sins -- 50 to 1 -- Cheap Thrill -- Odd Thomas -- Sparks -- Best Man Down -- Best Night Ever -- Beyond Outrage -- Need for Speed -- Loitering with Intent -- Witching Bitching -- Spanish Lake -- The Signal -- Home --

Rage -- The Trip to Italy -- The Congress -- Goodbye World -- The Olivia Experiment -- Frontera -- If I Stay -- Step Up: All In -- School Dance -- The Kill Team -- The Sacrament -- Wish I Was Here -- Big Bad Wolves -- The Pretty One -- Cheap Thrills -- Kids For Cash -- Open Grave -- Brightest Star -- 22 -- Walking With the Enemy -- The Protector 2 -- Hercules -- Mistaken for Strangers -- Leave the World Behind -- Earth to Echo -- Finding Vivian Maier -- Edge of Tomorrow -- Jupiter Ascending -- Goodbye World -- Ida -- Beneath the Harvest Sky -- Home -- Borgman -- Wolf Creek 2 -- Rob the Mob -- Persecuted -- Rowdy -- Poseidon Rex -- Walk of Shame -- We are the Best -- No God No Master -- Begin Again -- Obvious Child -- Words and Pictures -- Alive Inside

Help yourself to lots of images from . . .

The Peanuts Movie
Fantastic Four
Inside Out
Mad Max Fury Road
Cinderella
Frozen: Fever
Guardians of the Galaxy
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Batman vs Superman
X-Men: Days of Future Past
Amazing Spider-Man 2
The Amazing Spider-Man
The Avengers
Beauty and the Beast
Captain America: The Winter Soldier
Captain America: First Avenger
Cars 2
Conan the Barbarian
Despicable Me 2
Exodus: Gods and Kings
Godzilla

Star Wars Episode 7: The Force Awakens
Hobbit: Battle of Five Armies
How to Train Your Dragon 2
Kung Fu Panda 2
The Lion King
Man of Steel (Superman)
Planes
Red Riding Hood
Rio
Rio 2
The Smurfs
Sherlock Holmes
Suckerpunch

Thor
Transformers 3
Turbo
Winnie the Pooh
The Wolverine
NEW on DVD NEW BLU-RAY

Dallas Buyer's Club -- Last Vegas -- Rush -- Cloudy with Chance of Meatballs 2 -- Jackass: Bad Grandpa -- All is Lost -- Best Man Holiday -- Ender's Game -- Dark Knight Rises -- Less -- Ted -- Amazing Spider-Man -- Prometheus --- Madagascar 3 -- Men in Black 3 -- Magic Mike -- Snow White Huntsman --The Avengers -- Amazing Spider-Man -- The Artist -- Three Stooges -- The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo -- The Muppets -- Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy -- Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close -- Alvin + Chipmunks Chipwrecked -- War Horse -- We Bought a Zoo -- Fast Five-- Bridesmaids (unrated) -- Michael Flatley Lord of the Dance -- Thor -- X-Men First Class -- Rio -- Rango -- Unstoppable -- For Colored Girls -- Life As We Know It -- Red -- The American -- The A-Team -- Avatar -- Dinner for Schmucks -- Machete -- Zombieland

Dallas Buyer's Club -- Last Vegas -- Rush -- Cloudy with Chance of Meatballs 2 -- Jackass: Bad Grandpa -- All is Lost -- Best Man Holiday -- Ender's Game -- Ted -- Les Miserables -- Prometheus -- Madagascar 3 -- Men in Black 3 -- Magic Mike -- Titanic -- Jaws -- Star Wars IV-VI -- Twilight Saga: New Moon -- James Bond collection -- Snow White Huntsman -- The Avengers -- Amazing Spider-Man -- Singing in the Rain -- The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo -- Casablanca 70th anniv -- South Park season 15 -- The Descendants -- Adventures of Tin Tin -- My Week With Marilyn -- Melancholia -- The Muppets -- Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy -- Alvin + Chipmunks Chipwrecked -- Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Pt 1 SE -- Super 8 -- X-Men First Class -- Big Lebowski -- Star Wars Saga I-VI -- Sucker Punch -- Lord of the Rings Trilogy -- Super -- Unstoppable -- Red -- The American -- The A-Team -- Legacy -- Legendary -- Machete -- Wall Street Money Never Sleeps -- Toy Story 3 -- Kick-Ass

----------------------------------------- DVDs FOR SALE -----------------------------------------
Flight -- Perks of Being A Wallflower -- Zero Dark Thirty -- Wreck-It Ralph -- End of Watch -- The Girl with The Dragon Tattoo -- Hop -- Footloose (2011) -- Hugo -- Tower Heist -- Jack and Jill -- Tower Heist -- The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1 -- Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy -- The Three Musketeers (2011) --My Week With Marilyn -- Abduction -- Contraband -- The Iron Lady -- Angels & Demons -- Joyful Noise -- The Rum Diary -- The Bodyguard -- Moneyball --   Cowboys & Aliens --Insidious -- Red Riding Hood -- True Grit -- Academy Award winning films -- Avatar -- Batman Begins -- Blade Runner -- Clash of the Titans -- Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon -- The Hangover -- Harry Potter 1-6 box set -- Harry Potter Half-Blood Prince -- He's Just Not That Into You -- How to Train Your Dragon -- Incredible HULK -- The Hurt Locker -- Ice Age 1 & 2 set -- Indiana Jones trilogy -- Indy/ Crystal Skull -- Inglorious Basterds -- Iron Man -- Iron Man 2 -- Ultimate James Bond v1 -- Ultimate James Bond DVD v2 -- Ultimate James Bond   v3 -- Ultimate James Bond DVD v4 -- Juno -- Jurassic Park box set -- Karate Kid -- Kick Ass -- Lawrence of Arabia -- The Last Airbender -- Night at Museum -- 9 -- Paranormal Activity -- Passion of the Christ -- Ratatouille-- Resident Evil Afterlife -- The Runaways -- Scott Pilgrim -- Sherlock Holmes -- Shrek 1-3 trilogy -- Sin City -- Simpsons Movie -- Slumdog Millionaire -- Spider-Man Trilogy -- Star Trek I - VI box set -- Star Trek 2010 (1 disk) -- Star Wars Trilogy (1-3) -- Star Wars Trilogy (4-6) -- Terminator Salvation -- The Town -- Toy Story 3 -- Twilight -- Twilight: New Moon -- Twilight Saga Eclipse -- Twilight Breaking Dawn pt. 1 -- -- Up -- Wall-E -- Wall Street Money Never Sleeps -- Who is Harry Nilsson? -- Woodstock 49th anniv -- The Wrestler -- X-Men Trilogy -- X-Men Origins: Wolverine -- X-Men Trilogy
---------------------------------- BLU-RAY DISCS FOR SALE ----------------------------------
The Artist -- Mission Impossible Ghost Protocol -- Spawn -- The Hunger Games -- Sherlock Holmes A Game of Shadows -- JAWS -- 21 Jump Street -- Singing in the Rain 60th Anniv) -- The Girl with The Dragon Tattoo, Happy Feet Two, Footloose (2011), Tower Heist, Angels and Demons, The Rum Diary, Abduction, The Bodyguard, Moneyball, Captain America, Thor Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol, The Adventures of Tintin, Star Wars: The Complete Saga (Episodes I-VI) -- Lord of the Rings Extended Edition -- The Matrix box set -- Men in Black -- Alice in Wonderland (2010) -- Avatar -- Batman Begins -- The Dark Knight -- Blade Runner -- The Bourne Trilogy set -- Braveheart -- Breakfast Club -- Chronicles of Narnia -- Clash of the Titans -- Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon -- Fifth Element -- Forrest Gump -- Ghostbusters -- Ghost Rider-- Gladiator -- Goodfellas -- The Hangover -- The Hurt Locker -- Inglorious Basterds-- Hellboy -- Harry Potter years 1-6 -- HP: Order of Phoenix -- Harry Potter: Half-Blood Prince -- Iron Man -- Iron Man 2 -- James Bond Ultimate ed v1 -- James Bond Ultimate ed v2 -- James Bond Ultimate ed v3 -- Julie & Julia -- Juno -- Kill Bill 1 & 2 -- Kung Fu Panda -- Live Free or Die Hard -- Michael Jackson This is It --   Ocean's 11 12 13 set -- Passion of the Christ --  Pirates: Dead Man's Chest -- Pirates: At World's End -- Rambo box set -- Sherlock Holmes -- Sherlock Holmes A Game of Shadows -- Shine a Light (Stones Live) -- Silence of the Lambs -- Sleeping Beauty -- Spider-Man Trilogy HD -- Star Trek films set -- Star Trek (2009) -- Star Wars box (1-3) -- Star Wars box (4-6) -- Superman Batman Apocalypse -- Terminator -- Terminator 2 -- Terminator Salvation -- Top Gun -- Total Recall -- Transformers SE -- Twilight -- Twilight: New Moon -- Twilight: Eclipse -- Twilight Breaking Dawn pt. 1 -- Up -- Wall-E -- Watchmen -- Wizard of Oz -- Wonder Woman -- Woodstock 40th anniv -- The Wrestler -- Wolverine -- X-Men Trilogy
buy Cranky gear!
Buy Cranky stuff
buy movie posters allposters
Buy Movie Posters
amazon.gif
Buy Books
Buy Top Movies

dvd empire

The Cranky Critic site is Copyright © 1994 - 2016 Chuck Schwartz.
All Rights Reserved. Images used on the site are ©™® their individual owners and used with permission.
Academy Award™(s) and Oscar®(s) are registered trademarks and service marks of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences.