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the cranky critic (R)  is a registered trademark of chuck schwartz
Reviews since 1994:   A-E     F-N      O-Z    Posters       Who We Are and Why We Do What We Do    

CRANKY SEZ:  For those that haven't read the background history of this site, I suffered a broken neck (compression fracture C-5) in a traffic accident on 9/15/1988. Titanium strips used by surgeons to support the rebuilding of my neck were rejected by my body. So, my neck was surgically broken, a second time, in February of 1989. It didn't set correctly and had to be broken a third time around New Year's 1990. The surgical resident on my case told me I'd have five good years, then everything would go to hell. Well, I managed twenty-five years before hell hit, and that was about a year or so ago. The winter just ending nearly killed me.

For those that have stuck with us for the last year of hell, thank you for your support. I've got to be down for a couple of weeks. Or at least until winter stops. We will rebooot by the end of the month.

NEW!! WALLPAPERS: Finally, Star Wars Episode 7 characters you don't know from Adam! And a couple that you do! click here.
We've got several dozen wonderful peeks into the world of
Avengers: Age of Ultron, click here

NEW!!. . .click here for a full sized look at Jared Leto as The Joker in next year's Suicide Squad Jared Leto as Joker Next year's Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice draws heavily on Frank Miller's graphic novel "The Dark Knight Returns" (Miller is also known for 300 and for a DK sequel called "The Dark Knight Strikes Again"). Now comes word of a final graphic novel by Miller to roll out this Fall; Dark Knight III: The Master Race. click to download the poster. We thought you'd like to know. dark knight 3






[LAST] WEEKEND BOX OFFICE: Second week running [Fast and] Furious 7 ($29.1 millions/ $294.5 millions) takes the Top Spot. Newbies Paul Blart Mall Cop 2 ($23.7 millions) and Unfriended ($15.8 millions) follow. Home ($10.6 millions/ $142.9 millions) and The Longest Ride ($7.0 millions/ $23.6 millions) round out the Top Five. THE REST OF THE BEST: Get Hard ($4.9 millions/ $78.3 millions) Woman in Gold ($4.5 millions/ $15.9 millions), Monkey Kingdom ($4.5 millions), The Divergent Series: Insurgent ($4.0 millions/ $120.5 millions) Cinderella ($4.0 millions/ $186.4 millions)

MAD MAX: FURY ROAD Trailers here. ANT-MAN new trailer here BATMAN V. SUPERMAN Trailer here

-------------------- New Releases --------------------

Cinderella, Disney's first live action production of the classic story is a good family sit. If you have small girls, they will adore it. Grown ups will not have problems either. Along with the feature is a new 'toon featuring the characters from Disney's Frozen, celebrating a musical birthday!Click for Cranky's movie review

Cinderella downloads here

Frozen: Fever images here.


Russell Crowe's directorial debut The Water Diviner.

In the year after World War I, an Australian man goes searching for the remains of his three sons, lost in the battle of Gallipoli. Russell Crowe directs and stars in The Water Diviner, which we found to be an average sit.

Ex Machina

Ex Machina is reportedly an android vs. humans SF tale starring Domhnall Gleeson (soon to be seen in Star Wars 7), Oscar Isaac and Alicia Vikander


Fifty Shades of Grey

Fifty Shades of Grey stars Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson with a couple of lines tossed to Marcia Gay Harden. How this story sold hundreds of millions of copies is beyond us .... but we're male and this is porn for females. Dating gents, suck it up. Cranky's movie review

Sequels for this film have already been announced: one in 2016 and another in 2017. This must be because of book sales as the film bit.

Run All Night

Run All Night stars Liam Neeson. nuff said. Cranky's movie review

spongebob squarepants

The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water brings the yellow sponge thing out of the deep blue sea and on to land for super-heroic adventures. If you know and love the character, you're going to have the bestest time. If you don't, this isn't the place to start.

The Theory of Everything

Every once in a while we close the books early: The Theory of Everything, tells the story of Dr. Stephen Hawking (Eddie Redmayne) and his love turned wife Jane (Felicity Jones), as they face (his) last two years of life with working legs. She starts a family. He solves the Physics of Time. One of the best of the year.

The Theory of Everything trailer here

still alice

Still Alice stars Julianne Moore as a Columbia University professor diagnosed with Early Onset Alzheimer's Disease. With Alec Baldwin as her husband and Kristen Stewart as a daughter on the west coast the film gently documents the character's decline. Moore's performance will break your heart. As serious films go, this one is magnificent.

Imitation Game

The Imitation Game got star Benedict Cumberbatch a best actor Academy Award nomination. This one tells the story of a WWII code breaking machine called Enigma and how its use helped win that war. Assuredly, one of the best films of the year. Cranky's movie review

come together

Almost 45 years on, The Beatles live on in tribute bands all over the world. Come Together, narrated by John Lennon's sister Julia, is a loving tribute to those who attempt to replicate long lost performances down to the clothing and old equipment. If you remember the band in any form, or wish that you did, the film is 52 minutes you won't regret spending cash for. Amazon has it for you at half the price of a theater ticket.


Now working its way in local theaters is Paddington, as in Paddington Bear. We were all prepared to dismiss the film as a "buy it eventually because you'll be watching it all the time with your kids" property . . . and then we watched it. For everyone that has asked us "What kind of film gets the "perfect ten" rating?" this is it. By any set of definitions, Paddington is a great family film; it is a great movie; it is a great (capital "f") Film film. We watched over 275 films in 2014 and then we watched Paddington and our mind was blown from here to the Brit train station from which the film's title is taken. Cranky's movie review

  Into the Woods

Into the Woods scrambles Cinderella, Red Riding Hood, Rapunzel and Jack and the Beanstalk into a new story about a Baker and his barren wife and the deal the make with a wicked witch ... Meryl Streep steals the show. Rob Marshall adapts Stephen Sondheim's Broadway hit into the rarest of things . . . a musical that yours Cranky thoroughly enjoyed. One of the Best of the Year. Cranky's movie review


Kingsman The Secret Service stars Samuel L. Jackson, Michael Caine, Colin Firth, Taron Egerton. Think of like the old teevee Avengers (but no Mrs. Peel) with a street kid being ushered into the fraternity of heroes. Major thumbs up all along the critical spectrum. When it screened we barely had movement after winter storm #3. Disabilities suck.


One of the best films of the year, Selma recreates one of the key events of the 1960s Civil Rights 'uprising'. The events surrounding the Southern Christian Leadership Conference and Martin Luther King's (David Oyelowo) march from Selma to Montgomery, Alabama. This is no America we recognize and the film is better than anything you may have read in a history textbook.

Watch the trailer

 Tomorrowland -- Big Eyes --  Loitering with Intent -- Paul Blart Mall Cop 2 -- Night at the Museum Secret of the Tomb -- Inside Out -- Boyhood -- Unbroken -- Terminator Genisys -- Still Alice -- Exodus: Gods and Kings -- Inherent Vice -- The Theory of Everything -- Witching Bitching -- Spanish Lake -- The Signal -- Home -- Rage -- The Trip to Italy -- The Congress -- Goodbye World -- The Olivia Experiment -- Frontera -- If I Stay -- Step Up: All In -- School Dance -- The Kill Team -- The Sacrament -- Wish I Was Here -- Avengers: Age of Ultron


Star Wars Episode 7 (#2) --

Ant-Man (#1) --

Batman v Superman Dawn of Justice --

Fantastic Four -- A Most Violent Year -- In the Heart of the Sea -- Winter Sleep -- Do You Believe? -- Woman in Gold -- '71 -- Predestination -- Unbroken -- White Rabbit -- Black or White -- Jurassic World -- Lap Dance -- Space Station 76 -- 50 Shades of Grey -- Frontera -- What If -- Catch Hell -- Land Ho! -- 4 Minute Mile -- The Prince -- Hercules -- Cantinflas -- The Longest Week -- Ouija -- War Story -- Hide Your Smiling Faces --

Perfect Sisters -- A Night in Old Mexico -- Gold Frapp Tales of Us -- Palo Alto -- Only Lovers Left Alive -- Stage Fright -- Moms Night Out -- Alien Abduction -- Ant Boy -- The Duke of Burgundy -- Fractured -- Jinn -- The Drop -- Liars All -- Bad Words -- 10 Rules for Sleeping Around --13 Sins -- 50 to 1 -- Cheap Thrill -- Odd Thomas -- Sparks -- Best Man Down -- Best Night Ever -- Beyond Outrage -- Need for Speed --

Big Bad Wolves -- The Pretty One -- Cheap Thrills -- Kids For Cash -- Open Grave -- Brightest Star -- 22 -- Walking With the Enemy -- The Protector 2 -- Hercules -- Mistaken for Strangers -- Leave the World Behind -- Earth to Echo -- Finding Vivian Maier -- Edge of Tomorrow -- Jupiter Ascending -- Goodbye World -- Ida -- Beneath the Harvest Sky -- Home -- Borgman -- Wolf Creek 2 -- Rob the Mob -- Persecuted -- Rowdy -- Poseidon Rex -- Walk of Shame -- We are the Best -- No God No Master -- Begin Again -- Obvious Child -- Words and Pictures -- Alive Inside

Help yourself to lots of images from . . .

Frozen: Fever
Guardians of the Galaxy
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtes
Batman vs Superman
X-Men: Days of Future Past
Amazing Spider-Man 2
The Amazing Spider-Man
The Avengers
Beauty and the Beast
Captain America: The Winter Soldier
Captain America: First Avenger
Cars 2
Conan the Barbarian
Despicable Me 2
Exodus: Gods and Kings

Hobbit: Battle of Five Armies
How to Train Your Dragon 2
Kung Fu Panda 2
The Lion King
Man of Steel (Superman)
Red Riding Hood
Rio 2

The Smurfs
Sherlock Holmes

Transformers 3
Winnie the Pooh
The Wolverine


Dallas Buyer's Club -- Last Vegas -- Rush -- Cloudy with Chance of Meatballs 2 -- Jackass: Bad Grandpa -- All is Lost -- Best Man Holiday -- Ender's Game -- Dark Knight Rises -- Less -- Ted -- Amazing Spider-Man -- Prometheus --- Madagascar 3 -- Men in Black 3 -- Magic Mike -- Snow White Huntsman --The Avengers -- Amazing Spider-Man -- The Artist -- Three Stooges -- The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo -- The Muppets -- Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy -- Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close -- Alvin + Chipmunks Chipwrecked -- War Horse -- We Bought a Zoo -- Fast Five-- Bridesmaids (unrated) -- Michael Flatley Lord of the Dance -- Thor -- X-Men First Class -- Rio -- Rango -- Unstoppable -- For Colored Girls -- Life As We Know It -- Red -- The American -- The A-Team -- Avatar -- Dinner for Schmucks -- Machete -- Zombieland

Dallas Buyer's Club -- Last Vegas -- Rush -- Cloudy with Chance of Meatballs 2 -- Jackass: Bad Grandpa -- All is Lost -- Best Man Holiday -- Ender's Game -- Ted (unrated) -- Les Miserables -- Prometheus -- Madagascar 3 -- Men in Black 3 -- Magic Mike -- Titanic -- Jaws -- Star Wars IV-VI -- Twilight Saga: New Moon -- James Bond collection -- Snow White Huntsman -- The Avengers -- Amazing Spider-Man -- Singing in the Rain -- The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo -- Casablanca 70th anniv -- South Park season 15 -- The Descendants -- Adventures of Tin Tin -- My Week With Marilyn -- Melancholia -- The Muppets -- Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy -- Alvin + Chipmunks Chipwrecked -- Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Pt 1 SE -- Super 8 -- X-Men First Class -- Big Lebowski -- Star Wars Saga I-VI -- Sucker Punch -- Lord of the Rings Trilogy -- Super -- Unstoppable -- Red -- The American -- The A-Team -- Legacy -- Legendary -- Machete -- Wall Street Money Never Sleeps -- Toy Story 3 -- Kick-Ass

----------------------------------------- DVDs FOR SALE -----------------------------------------

Flight -- Perks of Being A Wallflower -- Zero Dark Thirty -- Wreck-It Ralph -- End of Watch -- The Girl with The Dragon Tattoo -- Hop -- Footloose (2011) -- Hugo -- Tower Heist -- Jack and Jill -- Tower Heist -- The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1 -- Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy -- The Three Musketeers (2011) --My Week With Marilyn -- Abduction -- Contraband -- The Iron Lady -- Angels & Demons -- Joyful Noise -- The Rum Diary -- The Bodyguard -- Moneyball --   Cowboys & Aliens --Insidious -- Red Riding Hood -- True Grit -- Academy Award winning films -- Avatar -- Batman Begins -- Blade Runner -- Clash of the Titans -- Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon -- The Hangover -- Harry Potter 1-6 box set -- Harry Potter Half-Blood Prince -- He's Just Not That Into You -- How to Train Your Dragon -- Incredible HULK -- The Hurt Locker -- Ice Age 1 & 2 set -- Indiana Jones trilogy -- Indy/ Crystal Skull -- Inglorious Basterds -- Iron Man -- Iron Man 2 -- Ultimate James Bond v1 -- Ultimate James Bond DVD v2 -- Ultimate James Bond   v3 -- Ultimate James Bond DVD v4 -- Juno -- Jurassic Park box set -- Karate Kid -- Kick Ass -- Lawrence of Arabia -- The Last Airbender -- Night at Museum -- 9 -- Paranormal Activity -- Passion of the Christ -- Ratatouille-- Resident Evil Afterlife -- The Runaways -- Scott Pilgrim -- Sherlock Holmes -- Shrek 1-3 trilogy -- Sin City -- Simpsons Movie -- Slumdog Millionaire -- Spider-Man Trilogy -- Star Trek I - VI box set -- Star Trek 2010 (1 disk) -- Star Wars Trilogy (1-3) -- Star Wars Trilogy (4-6) -- Terminator Salvation -- The Town -- Toy Story 3 -- Twilight -- Twilight: New Moon -- Twilight Saga Eclipse -- Twilight Breaking Dawn pt. 1 -- -- Up -- Wall-E -- Wall Street Money Never Sleeps -- Who is Harry Nilsson? -- Woodstock 49th anniv -- The Wrestler -- X-Men Trilogy -- X-Men Origins: Wolverine -- X-Men Trilogy

---------------------------------- BLU-RAY DISCS FOR SALE ----------------------------------
The Artist -- Mission Impossible Ghost Protocol -- Spawn -- The Hunger Games -- Sherlock Holmes A Game of Shadows -- JAWS -- 21 Jump Street -- Singing in the Rain 60th Anniv) -- The Girl with The Dragon Tattoo, Happy Feet Two, Footloose (2011), Tower Heist, Angels and Demons, The Rum Diary, Abduction, The Bodyguard, Moneyball, Captain America, Thor Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol, The Adventures of Tintin, Star Wars: The Complete Saga (Episodes I-VI) -- Lord of the Rings Extended Edition -- The Matrix box set -- Men in Black -- Alice in Wonderland (2010) -- Avatar -- Batman Begins -- The Dark Knight -- Blade Runner -- The Bourne Trilogy set -- Braveheart -- Breakfast Club -- Chronicles of Narnia -- Clash of the Titans -- Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon -- Fifth Element -- Forrest Gump -- Ghostbusters -- Ghost Rider-- Gladiator -- Goodfellas -- The Hangover -- The Hurt Locker -- Inglorious Basterds-- Hellboy -- Harry Potter years 1-6 -- HP: Order of Phoenix -- Harry Potter: Half-Blood Prince -- Iron Man -- Iron Man 2 -- James Bond Ultimate ed v1 -- James Bond Ultimate ed v2 -- James Bond Ultimate ed v3 -- Julie & Julia -- Juno -- Kill Bill 1 & 2 -- Kung Fu Panda -- Live Free or Die Hard -- Michael Jackson This is It --   Ocean's 11 12 13 set -- Passion of the Christ --  Pirates: Dead Man's Chest -- Pirates: At World's End -- Rambo box set -- Sherlock Holmes -- Sherlock Holmes A Game of Shadows -- Shine a Light (Stones Live) -- Silence of the Lambs -- Sleeping Beauty -- Spider-Man Trilogy HD -- Star Trek films set -- Star Trek (2009) -- Star Wars box (1-3) -- Star Wars box (4-6) -- Superman Batman Apocalypse -- Terminator -- Terminator 2 -- Terminator Salvation -- Top Gun -- Total Recall -- Transformers SE -- Twilight -- Twilight: New Moon -- Twilight: Eclipse -- Twilight Breaking Dawn pt. 1 -- Up -- Wall-E -- Watchmen -- Wizard of Oz -- Wonder Woman -- Woodstock 40th anniv -- The Wrestler -- Wolverine -- X-Men Trilogy
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