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the cranky critic (R)  is a registered trademark of chuck schwartz
Reviews since 1994: 
  A-E     F-N      O-Z    Posters       Who We Are and Why We Do What We Do    

CRANKY SEZ:   Yes, as I wrote last week, I had four screenings all booked and ready to go for this week. An hour before my first screening on Monday, my right leg stopped working. Yes, again. Those that have followed this site for the last year or so have been privy to my descriptions of how the disabilities in my leg came about [from a neck broken three times roughly twenty-five years ago.] My right leg is not fully paralyzed but disabled enough that normal walking can no longer be taken for granted. Still, I lugged myself out to my building's elevator . . . only to find that it is out of service, and has been (now) for the entire week. I can't climb down or up five flights of stairs . Helpful neighbors can't get my screening work done so waiting on the repair guy is now what's left. We're pretty much fired from this gig, at least for a while

Cranky Critic, since 1993. Watch for grand reopening (ha!) and a higher than usual number of downloadables.

WEEKEND BOX OFFICE: For the third straight week, Jurassic World hold the Number One box office position, taking in $54.2 millions for a domestic gross, to date, of $500.1 millions. Holding at Second, Inside Out ($52.1 millions/ $184.9 millions) with newbies Ted 2 ($33.0 millions) and Max ($12.210 millions) following. Dropping from Third, Spy ($7.8 millions/ $88.4 millions) bottoms out the Top Five THE REST OF THE BEST . . . All heading out of the Top Ten, San Andreas ($5.3 millions/ $141.9 millions), Fourth to Sixth; Dope ($2.9 millions/ $11.8 millions) Fifth to Seventh; Insidious Chapter 3 ($2.0 millions/ $49.8 millions) Sixth to Eighth; Mad Max: Fury Road ($1.7 millions/ $147.1 millions) Eighth to Ninth and Avengers: Age of Ultron ($1.6 millions/ $452.4 millions) Ninth to Tenth

-------------------- New Releases --------------------
ted 2

ted 2 stars Mark Wahlberg and Seth MacFarlane (as the former's bestest friend and still a stuffed animal bear)


Max recreates the true story of a dog that helped US Marines in Afghanistan. and said pooch's ptsd experience.


a little chaos

A Little Chaos from writer/ director Alan Rickman recreates a love story set in the court of King Louis XIV palace at Versailles. No, it's not about the king.Yes, the Rotten Tomatoes rating is pretty high.

jurassic world

        Wallpaper Downloads    Cranky's Movie Review    Easter Eggs


Jude Law, Melissa McCarthy and Jason Statham star in Spy (and so does Rose Byrne) which doesn't have to do much to trounce McCarthy's last outing (in the bomb Tammy).


Dope is a comedy featuing African American performers.. Cranky's just an old white guy. We couldn't understand a word of dialog in the trailer for this thing.

Love and Mercy

Love and Mercy (ltd), based on the life story of Brian Wilson (played by John Cusack with Paul Dano as the younger Wilson) and the making of the Beach Boy's legendary Pet Sounds album. The film destroyed at the Sundance Film Festival so we waited for the New York screenings which never materialized. Either that or we don't make the cut anymore, which is fine since we haven't been able to walk all week and would have missed any screening.


Aloha from genius creator Cameron Crowe is a major misfire. We could tell from the limp humor that tries to pass in the TV spot. That, and we asked around

san andreas

Dwayne Johnson stars in San Andreas Big Earthquake. Big Stars. California falls into the sea but it's all effects on a weak plot (Heck, California falls into the sea. Who needs a plot?)


Tomorrowland stars George Clooney. What was a big hunk of the original Disneyland makes a pretty looking movie with a choppy to uneven story. We asked around.


For those that can't or don't or won't pay for HBO on cable, the hit Entourage is now a movie which is still about an kid from Queens who hits it big. Said kid brings his crew out to the West Coast as he begins to make his first movie.

Mad Max Fury Road  Ex Machina  Far From the Madding Crowd   Furious 7  the avengers: age of ultron   Pitch Perfect 2  

The last month or so, listed left to right, as critics in general preferred them: Mad Max Fury Road; Ex Machina; Far From the Madding Crowd; Furious 7; Avengers Age of Ultron and Pitch Perfect 2. Box office wise, Pitch Perfect 2 is top of the list.

We're trying to patch our self back together as best we can.




Irrational Man -- Cooties -- Shaun the Sheep -- Magic Mike XXL - Henry Gamble's Birthday Party - Mad Max: Fury Road -- Ant-Man -- Batman vs. Superman-- Star Wars Episode 7 (#2) -- Ant-Man (#1) -- Batman v Superman Dawn of Justice -- Fantastic Four -- A Most Violent Year -- In the Heart of the Sea -- Winter Sleep -- Do You Believe? -- Woman in Gold -- '71 -- Predestination -- Unbroken -- White Rabbit -- Black or White -- Jurassic World -- Lap Dance -- Space Station 76 --Frontera -- What If -- Catch Hell -- Land Ho! -- 4 Minute Mile -- The Prince -- Hercules -- Cantinflas -- The Longest Week -- Ouija -- War Story -- Hide Your Smiling Faces -- Perfect Sisters -- A Night in Old Mexico --

Gold Frapp Tales of Us -- Palo Alto -- Only Lovers Left Alive -- Stage Fright -- Moms Night Out -- Alien Abduction -- Ant Boy -- The Duke of Burgundy -- Fractured -- Jinn -- The Drop -- Liars All -- Bad Words -- 10 Rules for Sleeping Around --13 Sins -- 50 to 1 -- Cheap Thrill -- Odd Thomas -- Sparks -- Best Man Down -- Best Night Ever -- Beyond Outrage -- Need for Speed -- Tomorrowland -- Big Eyes --  Loitering with Intent -- Inside Out -- Boyhood -- Unbroken -- Terminator Genisys -- Witching Bitching -- Spanish Lake --

The Signal -- Home -- Rage -- The Trip to Italy -- The Congress -- Goodbye World -- The Olivia Experiment -- Frontera -- If I Stay -- Step Up: All In -- School Dance -- The Kill Team -- The Sacrament -- Wish I Was Here -- Big Bad Wolves -- The Pretty One -- Cheap Thrills -- Kids For Cash -- Open Grave -- Brightest Star -- 22 -- Walking With the Enemy -- The Protector 2 -- Hercules -- Mistaken for Strangers -- Leave the World Behind -- Earth to Echo -- Finding Vivian Maier -- Edge of Tomorrow -- Jupiter Ascending -- Goodbye World -- Ida -- Beneath the Harvest Sky -- Home -- Borgman -- Wolf Creek 2 -- Rob the Mob -- Persecuted -- Rowdy -- Poseidon Rex -- Walk of Shame -- We are the Best -- No God No Master -- Begin Again -- Obvious Child -- Words and Pictures -- Alive Inside

Help yourself to lots of images from . . .

Inside Out
Mad Max Fury Road
Frozen: Fever
Guardians of the Galaxy
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtes
Batman vs Superman
X-Men: Days of Future Past
Amazing Spider-Man 2
The Amazing Spider-Man
The Avengers
Beauty and the Beast
Captain America: The Winter Soldier
Captain America: First Avenger
Cars 2
Conan the Barbarian
Despicable Me 2
Exodus: Gods and Kings

Star Wars Episode 7: The Force Awakens
Hobbit: Battle of Five Armies
How to Train Your Dragon 2
Kung Fu Panda 2
The Lion King
Man of Steel (Superman)
Red Riding Hood
Rio 2

The Smurfs
Sherlock Holmes

Transformers 3
Winnie the Pooh
The Wolverine


Dallas Buyer's Club -- Last Vegas -- Rush -- Cloudy with Chance of Meatballs 2 -- Jackass: Bad Grandpa -- All is Lost -- Best Man Holiday -- Ender's Game -- Dark Knight Rises -- Less -- Ted -- Amazing Spider-Man -- Prometheus --- Madagascar 3 -- Men in Black 3 -- Magic Mike -- Snow White Huntsman --The Avengers -- Amazing Spider-Man -- The Artist -- Three Stooges -- The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo -- The Muppets -- Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy -- Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close -- Alvin + Chipmunks Chipwrecked -- War Horse -- We Bought a Zoo -- Fast Five-- Bridesmaids (unrated) -- Michael Flatley Lord of the Dance -- Thor -- X-Men First Class -- Rio -- Rango -- Unstoppable -- For Colored Girls -- Life As We Know It -- Red -- The American -- The A-Team -- Avatar -- Dinner for Schmucks -- Machete -- Zombieland

Dallas Buyer's Club -- Last Vegas -- Rush -- Cloudy with Chance of Meatballs 2 -- Jackass: Bad Grandpa -- All is Lost -- Best Man Holiday -- Ender's Game -- Ted -- Les Miserables -- Prometheus -- Madagascar 3 -- Men in Black 3 -- Magic Mike -- Titanic -- Jaws -- Star Wars IV-VI -- Twilight Saga: New Moon -- James Bond collection -- Snow White Huntsman -- The Avengers -- Amazing Spider-Man -- Singing in the Rain -- The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo -- Casablanca 70th anniv -- South Park season 15 -- The Descendants -- Adventures of Tin Tin -- My Week With Marilyn -- Melancholia -- The Muppets -- Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy -- Alvin + Chipmunks Chipwrecked -- Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Pt 1 SE -- Super 8 -- X-Men First Class -- Big Lebowski -- Star Wars Saga I-VI -- Sucker Punch -- Lord of the Rings Trilogy -- Super -- Unstoppable -- Red -- The American -- The A-Team -- Legacy -- Legendary -- Machete -- Wall Street Money Never Sleeps -- Toy Story 3 -- Kick-Ass

----------------------------------------- DVDs FOR SALE -----------------------------------------

Flight -- Perks of Being A Wallflower -- Zero Dark Thirty -- Wreck-It Ralph -- End of Watch -- The Girl with The Dragon Tattoo -- Hop -- Footloose (2011) -- Hugo -- Tower Heist -- Jack and Jill -- Tower Heist -- The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1 -- Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy -- The Three Musketeers (2011) --My Week With Marilyn -- Abduction -- Contraband -- The Iron Lady -- Angels & Demons -- Joyful Noise -- The Rum Diary -- The Bodyguard -- Moneyball --   Cowboys & Aliens --Insidious -- Red Riding Hood -- True Grit -- Academy Award winning films -- Avatar -- Batman Begins -- Blade Runner -- Clash of the Titans -- Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon -- The Hangover -- Harry Potter 1-6 box set -- Harry Potter Half-Blood Prince -- He's Just Not That Into You -- How to Train Your Dragon -- Incredible HULK -- The Hurt Locker -- Ice Age 1 & 2 set -- Indiana Jones trilogy -- Indy/ Crystal Skull -- Inglorious Basterds -- Iron Man -- Iron Man 2 -- Ultimate James Bond v1 -- Ultimate James Bond DVD v2 -- Ultimate James Bond   v3 -- Ultimate James Bond DVD v4 -- Juno -- Jurassic Park box set -- Karate Kid -- Kick Ass -- Lawrence of Arabia -- The Last Airbender -- Night at Museum -- 9 -- Paranormal Activity -- Passion of the Christ -- Ratatouille-- Resident Evil Afterlife -- The Runaways -- Scott Pilgrim -- Sherlock Holmes -- Shrek 1-3 trilogy -- Sin City -- Simpsons Movie -- Slumdog Millionaire -- Spider-Man Trilogy -- Star Trek I - VI box set -- Star Trek 2010 (1 disk) -- Star Wars Trilogy (1-3) -- Star Wars Trilogy (4-6) -- Terminator Salvation -- The Town -- Toy Story 3 -- Twilight -- Twilight: New Moon -- Twilight Saga Eclipse -- Twilight Breaking Dawn pt. 1 -- -- Up -- Wall-E -- Wall Street Money Never Sleeps -- Who is Harry Nilsson? -- Woodstock 49th anniv -- The Wrestler -- X-Men Trilogy -- X-Men Origins: Wolverine -- X-Men Trilogy

---------------------------------- BLU-RAY DISCS FOR SALE ----------------------------------
The Artist -- Mission Impossible Ghost Protocol -- Spawn -- The Hunger Games -- Sherlock Holmes A Game of Shadows -- JAWS -- 21 Jump Street -- Singing in the Rain 60th Anniv) -- The Girl with The Dragon Tattoo, Happy Feet Two, Footloose (2011), Tower Heist, Angels and Demons, The Rum Diary, Abduction, The Bodyguard, Moneyball, Captain America, Thor Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol, The Adventures of Tintin, Star Wars: The Complete Saga (Episodes I-VI) -- Lord of the Rings Extended Edition -- The Matrix box set -- Men in Black -- Alice in Wonderland (2010) -- Avatar -- Batman Begins -- The Dark Knight -- Blade Runner -- The Bourne Trilogy set -- Braveheart -- Breakfast Club -- Chronicles of Narnia -- Clash of the Titans -- Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon -- Fifth Element -- Forrest Gump -- Ghostbusters -- Ghost Rider-- Gladiator -- Goodfellas -- The Hangover -- The Hurt Locker -- Inglorious Basterds-- Hellboy -- Harry Potter years 1-6 -- HP: Order of Phoenix -- Harry Potter: Half-Blood Prince -- Iron Man -- Iron Man 2 -- James Bond Ultimate ed v1 -- James Bond Ultimate ed v2 -- James Bond Ultimate ed v3 -- Julie & Julia -- Juno -- Kill Bill 1 & 2 -- Kung Fu Panda -- Live Free or Die Hard -- Michael Jackson This is It --   Ocean's 11 12 13 set -- Passion of the Christ --  Pirates: Dead Man's Chest -- Pirates: At World's End -- Rambo box set -- Sherlock Holmes -- Sherlock Holmes A Game of Shadows -- Shine a Light (Stones Live) -- Silence of the Lambs -- Sleeping Beauty -- Spider-Man Trilogy HD -- Star Trek films set -- Star Trek (2009) -- Star Wars box (1-3) -- Star Wars box (4-6) -- Superman Batman Apocalypse -- Terminator -- Terminator 2 -- Terminator Salvation -- Top Gun -- Total Recall -- Transformers SE -- Twilight -- Twilight: New Moon -- Twilight: Eclipse -- Twilight Breaking Dawn pt. 1 -- Up -- Wall-E -- Watchmen -- Wizard of Oz -- Wonder Woman -- Woodstock 40th anniv -- The Wrestler -- Wolverine -- X-Men Trilogy
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