buy Cranky gear!
Buy Cranky stuff
amazon.gif
Books     DVDs
Kindle eBooks
          the cranky critic is a registered trademark of chuck schwartz
Reviews since 1994: 
  A-E     F-N      O-Z    Posters       Who We Are and Why We Do What We Do
   

DONATE to support the site   
buy movie posters allposters
Buy Movie Posters

CRANKY SEZ:   My neck has been broken three times. First, in a traffic accident in 1988. Then again in 1989 and 1990 for medical reasons. After 25 relatively peaceful years, side-effects from long forgotten surgeries have reasserted themselves. My ability to sit up to watch a two or three hours long film is gone. Obviously this medical situation has to be dealt with. Something will continue on this site. When we can figure out what to do, we'll do it. If we can sit through an entire movie screening we will write a review.

In the meantime our web host of the last dozen years hiked their rates by 400% so we have had to change servers. Not only is that a grunt task to keep us busy, it wiped out all of our established mail functions -- we never thought about backing up addresses and message boards so, if any reader thinks we've ignored them in the middle of an email exchange, now you know. Changing those servers, it turns out, is a major headache. Over 20 years of material had to be accounted for and moved and . . . wouldn't you know it? We found a javascript error in a template dating back to 2002. Simply, we had to upload every (newly updated) review file a second time!

Have we mentioned that politicians are trying to outlaw the painkiller which has kept us alive since 1998? The glut of Oxycodone (aka Percocet) prescriptions is not just because users are getting high from the stuff.-- although we never have. We live in pain 24/7. That's what the pills are for -- It is because all the cokeheads of the 1980s now have careers and families and assets they couldn't afford to lose if they got busted with powder. So, the cokeheads moved to pills. After all, no one thinks twice if an aging person takes a pain pill. We know it is true because we've had to cut off our ex-cokehead friends, all of whom would sidle up to us and say : "You couldn't possibly need all that Percocet; good friend good buddy good pal. My migraine headache is just killing me. You can spare half a dozen pills, right?" We swear on a bible that that line is true and those friends are no longer friends.

Cranky Critic will be back as soon as we can make it happen.


The Cranky Critic, since 1993 . . .           To Be Continued . . .
TRAILERS: WALLPAPER  DOWNLOADS:

Absolutely Fabulous: The Movie -- Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice -- Point Break -- Max -- The 33 -- The Legend of Tarzan -- Central Intelligence -- Star Wars: The Force Awakens -- The Good Dinosaur (Disney) -- The Walking Dead --Cooties -- Star Wars Episode 7 (#2) -- Batman v Superman Dawn of Justice -- In the Heart of the Sea -- Winter Sleep -- Do You Believe? -- Woman in Gold -- '71 -- Predestination -- Unbroken -- White Rabbit -- Black or White -- Space Station 76 --Frontera -- What If -- Catch Hell -- Land Ho! -- 4 Minute Mile -- The Prince -- Hercules -- Cantinflas -- The Longest Week -- Ouija --

War Story -- Hide Your Smiling Faces -- Perfect Sisters -- A Night in Old Mexico -- Gold Frapp Tales of Us -- Palo Alto -- Only Lovers Left Alive -- Stage Fright -- Moms Night Out -- Alien Abduction -- Ant Boy -- The Duke of Burgundy -- Fractured -- S -- The Drop -- Liars All -- Bad Words -- 10 Rules for Sleeping Around --13 Sins -- 50 to 1 -- Cheap Thrill -- Odd Thomas -- Sparks -- Best Man Down -- Best Night Ever -- Beyond Outrage -- Need for Speed -- Loitering with Intent -- Witching Bitching -- Spanish Lake -- The Signal -- Home --+

 

Rage -- The Trip to Italy -- The Congress -- Goodbye World -- The Olivia Experiment -- Frontera -- If I Stay -- Step Up: All In -- School Dance -- The Kill Team -- The Sacrament -- Wish I Was Here -- Big Bad Wolves -- The Pretty One -- Cheap Thrills -- Kids For Cash -- Open Grave -- Brightest Star -- 22 -- Walking With the Enemy -- The Protector 2 -- Hercules -- Mistaken for Strangers -- Leave the World Behind -- Earth to Echo -- Finding Vivian Maier -- Edge of Tomorrow -- Jupiter Ascending -- Goodbye World -- Ida -- Beneath the Harvest Sky -- Home -- Borgman -- Wolf Creek 2 -- Rob the Mob -- Persecuted -- Rowdy -- Poseidon Rex -- Walk of Shame -- We are the Best -- No God No Master -- Begin Again -- Obvious Child -- Words and Pictures -- Alive Inside

Help yourself to lots of images from . . .

The Peanuts Movie
Fantastic Four
Inside Out
Mad Max Fury Road
Cinderella
Frozen: Fever
Guardians of the Galaxy
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Batman vs Superman
X-Men: Days of Future Past
Amazing Spider-Man 2
The Amazing Spider-Man
The Avengers
Beauty and the Beast
Captain America: The Winter Soldier
Captain America: First Avenger
Cars 2
Conan the Barbarian
Despicable Me 2
Exodus: Gods and Kings
Godzilla


Star Wars Episode 7: The Force Awakens
Hobbit: Battle of Five Armies
How to Train Your Dragon 2
Kung Fu Panda 2
The Lion King
Man of Steel (Superman)
Planes
Red Riding Hood
Rio
Rio 2
The Smurfs
Sherlock Holmes
Suckerpunch

Thor
Transformers 3
Turbo
Winnie the Pooh
The Wolverine

NEW on DVD NEW BLU-RAY

Dallas Buyer's Club -- Last Vegas -- Rush -- Cloudy with Chance of Meatballs 2 -- Jackass: Bad Grandpa -- All is Lost -- Best Man Holiday -- Ender's Game -- Dark Knight Rises -- Less -- Ted -- Amazing Spider-Man -- Prometheus --- Madagascar 3 -- Men in Black 3 -- Magic Mike -- Snow White Huntsman --The Avengers -- Amazing Spider-Man -- The Artist -- Three Stooges -- The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo -- The Muppets -- Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy -- Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close -- Alvin + Chipmunks Chipwrecked -- War Horse -- We Bought a Zoo -- Fast Five-- Bridesmaids (unrated) -- Michael Flatley Lord of the Dance -- Thor -- X-Men First Class -- Rio -- Rango -- Unstoppable -- For Colored Girls -- Life As We Know It -- Red -- The American -- The A-Team -- Avatar -- Dinner for Schmucks -- Machete -- Zombieland

Dallas Buyer's Club -- Last Vegas -- Rush -- Cloudy with Chance of Meatballs 2 -- Jackass: Bad Grandpa -- All is Lost -- Best Man Holiday -- Ender's Game -- Ted -- Les Miserables -- Prometheus -- Madagascar 3 -- Men in Black 3 -- Magic Mike -- Titanic -- Jaws -- Star Wars IV-VI -- Twilight Saga: New Moon -- James Bond collection -- Snow White Huntsman -- The Avengers -- Amazing Spider-Man -- Singing in the Rain -- The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo -- Casablanca 70th anniv -- South Park season 15 -- The Descendants -- Adventures of Tin Tin -- My Week With Marilyn -- Melancholia -- The Muppets -- Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy -- Alvin + Chipmunks Chipwrecked -- Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Pt 1 SE -- Super 8 -- X-Men First Class -- Big Lebowski -- Star Wars Saga I-VI -- Sucker Punch -- Lord of the Rings Trilogy -- Super -- Unstoppable -- Red -- The American -- The A-Team -- Legacy -- Legendary -- Machete -- Wall Street Money Never Sleeps -- Toy Story 3 -- Kick-Ass

----------------------------------------- DVDs FOR SALE -----------------------------------------

Flight -- Perks of Being A Wallflower -- Zero Dark Thirty -- Wreck-It Ralph -- End of Watch -- The Girl with The Dragon Tattoo -- Hop -- Footloose (2011) -- Hugo -- Tower Heist -- Jack and Jill -- Tower Heist -- The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1 -- Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy -- The Three Musketeers (2011) --My Week With Marilyn -- Abduction -- Contraband -- The Iron Lady -- Angels & Demons -- Joyful Noise -- The Rum Diary -- The Bodyguard -- Moneyball --   Cowboys & Aliens --Insidious -- Red Riding Hood -- True Grit -- Academy Award winning films -- Avatar -- Batman Begins -- Blade Runner -- Clash of the Titans -- Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon -- The Hangover -- Harry Potter 1-6 box set -- Harry Potter Half-Blood Prince -- He's Just Not That Into You -- How to Train Your Dragon -- Incredible HULK -- The Hurt Locker -- Ice Age 1 & 2 set -- Indiana Jones trilogy -- Indy/ Crystal Skull -- Inglorious Basterds -- Iron Man -- Iron Man 2 -- Ultimate James Bond v1 -- Ultimate James Bond DVD v2 -- Ultimate James Bond   v3 -- Ultimate James Bond DVD v4 -- Juno -- Jurassic Park box set -- Karate Kid -- Kick Ass -- Lawrence of Arabia -- The Last Airbender -- Night at Museum -- 9 -- Paranormal Activity -- Passion of the Christ -- Ratatouille-- Resident Evil Afterlife -- The Runaways -- Scott Pilgrim -- Sherlock Holmes -- Shrek 1-3 trilogy -- Sin City -- Simpsons Movie -- Slumdog Millionaire -- Spider-Man Trilogy -- Star Trek I - VI box set -- Star Trek 2010 (1 disk) -- Star Wars Trilogy (1-3) -- Star Wars Trilogy (4-6) -- Terminator Salvation -- The Town -- Toy Story 3 -- Twilight -- Twilight: New Moon -- Twilight Saga Eclipse -- Twilight Breaking Dawn pt. 1 -- -- Up -- Wall-E -- Wall Street Money Never Sleeps -- Who is Harry Nilsson? -- Woodstock 49th anniv -- The Wrestler -- X-Men Trilogy -- X-Men Origins: Wolverine -- X-Men Trilogy

---------------------------------- BLU-RAY DISCS FOR SALE ----------------------------------
The Artist -- Mission Impossible Ghost Protocol -- Spawn -- The Hunger Games -- Sherlock Holmes A Game of Shadows -- JAWS -- 21 Jump Street -- Singing in the Rain 60th Anniv) -- The Girl with The Dragon Tattoo, Happy Feet Two, Footloose (2011), Tower Heist, Angels and Demons, The Rum Diary, Abduction, The Bodyguard, Moneyball, Captain America, Thor Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol, The Adventures of Tintin, Star Wars: The Complete Saga (Episodes I-VI) -- Lord of the Rings Extended Edition -- The Matrix box set -- Men in Black -- Alice in Wonderland (2010) -- Avatar -- Batman Begins -- The Dark Knight -- Blade Runner -- The Bourne Trilogy set -- Braveheart -- Breakfast Club -- Chronicles of Narnia -- Clash of the Titans -- Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon -- Fifth Element -- Forrest Gump -- Ghostbusters -- Ghost Rider-- Gladiator -- Goodfellas -- The Hangover -- The Hurt Locker -- Inglorious Basterds-- Hellboy -- Harry Potter years 1-6 -- HP: Order of Phoenix -- Harry Potter: Half-Blood Prince -- Iron Man -- Iron Man 2 -- James Bond Ultimate ed v1 -- James Bond Ultimate ed v2 -- James Bond Ultimate ed v3 -- Julie & Julia -- Juno -- Kill Bill 1 & 2 -- Kung Fu Panda -- Live Free or Die Hard -- Michael Jackson This is It --   Ocean's 11 12 13 set -- Passion of the Christ --  Pirates: Dead Man's Chest -- Pirates: At World's End -- Rambo box set -- Sherlock Holmes -- Sherlock Holmes A Game of Shadows -- Shine a Light (Stones Live) -- Silence of the Lambs -- Sleeping Beauty -- Spider-Man Trilogy HD -- Star Trek films set -- Star Trek (2009) -- Star Wars box (1-3) -- Star Wars box (4-6) -- Superman Batman Apocalypse -- Terminator -- Terminator 2 -- Terminator Salvation -- Top Gun -- Total Recall -- Transformers SE -- Twilight -- Twilight: New Moon -- Twilight: Eclipse -- Twilight Breaking Dawn pt. 1 -- Up -- Wall-E -- Watchmen -- Wizard of Oz -- Wonder Woman -- Woodstock 40th anniv -- The Wrestler -- Wolverine -- X-Men Trilogy
buy Cranky gear!
Buy Cranky stuff
buy movie posters allposters
Buy Movie Posters
amazon.gif
Buy Books
Buy Top Movies

dvd empire

The Cranky Critic site is Copyright © 1994 - 2016 Chuck Schwartz.
All Rights Reserved.. Images used on the site are ©™® their individual owners and used with permission.
Academy Award™(s) and Oscar®(s) are registered trademarks and service marks of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences.